Round Table Weekly

DaemianLucifer · Unread postby **DaemianLucifer** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:10

I heard it has something to do with Kalah joining a traveling band of strippers

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:10

For once (and it shall hopefully never happen again) I like what you're saying Pooh-bear

Kalah · Unread postby **Kalah** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:38

You want RTW? You can't handle the RTW!

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:44

Hehe...prove it

Kalah · Unread postby **Kalah** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:45

You want it? Hm? Hm? Got one ready... What do I get for it? Hm?

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:47

Kalah wrote:You want it? Hm? Hm? Got one ready... What do I get for it? Hm?

Depends on what you want

DaemianLucifer · Unread postby **DaemianLucifer** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:47

Kalah wrote:You want RTW? But I can't handle the RTW!

Spelling corrected

Kalah · Unread postby **Kalah** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:54

Milla aka. the Slayer wrote:Depends on what you want

How 'bout a phone number?

Or your MSN would do nicely.

Of course, Milla would get it right away then; you other guys will either have to wait for official publication or start subscribing.

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:55

Milla aka. the Slayer wrote: Depends on what you want

What men want... pictures at 11. Or you can just go in the true looks thread and see the latest pic.

...[size=0]drunkenish women, not Milla specificaly[/size]...

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 19 Sep 2006, 20:57

Kalah wrote:
Milla aka. the Slayer wrote:Depends on what you want
How 'bout a phone number? Or your MSN would do nicely.

Done.

Kalah · Unread postby **Kalah** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:02

*article on the way...*

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:04

Grand

...

Kalah · Unread postby **Kalah** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:09

Anchor: "Hello, everyone, welcome back to the Round Table Weekly. We're glad to be back from holiday, which is to say we're not, but we have to make a living somehow, and since Elite Model Management haven't returned any of our calls yet, we're back to this for the time being. This week, we have brought in a couple of visitors from the Silver Cities, the pawed and clawed furry creatures referred to by one forum member as 'Rackthemochacha'..."
Rakshasa Raja: "But that guy was quickly silenced."
Anchor: "... here they are, the Heroes 5 Rakshasas. Welcome, guys."
Rakshasas: "Mjaurrr, thank you."
Anchor: "That brings me to my first question: you are guys, right?"
Rakshasa Raja: "Damn right."
Anchor: "That's interesting, 'cause in the previous games you weren't even there; it has always been Nagas and Naga queens – female creatures – filling up the part you now slide into with the new producer."
Rakshasa Rani: "Mjaurrr, I am not a guy. Can't you hear the subtle 'purr' in my voice? Why do you mjaurr ask, anyway?"
Anchor: "Oh, nothing, I just found it interesting. You're basically the same creature; several swift swords, no retaliation etc., yet the producer has chosen to change your appearance in such a drastic way. Why do you think this is?"
Rakshasa Rani: "Mjaurrr, we don't know mjaurrr... He just called us mjaurrr up one day and said; "The snake's out, you're in." Anyway, mjaurrr we're glad we got the gig."
Rakshasa Raja: "Apparently mjaurrr there was something about him not feeling the dog or something mjaurrr..."
Anchor: "OK, many were sad to see the Nagas go, but instead we get some big cats, right? Let's talk about your abilities."
Rakshasa Raja: "Well, we're quick, we're funny, we cost a lot of money mjaurrr..."
Anchor: "Heh, jokes aside: you kitties are level six, second highest, topped only by the mighty, mighty titans. You're neck and neck with the Pit Lords, the Cavaliers, the Shadow Matriarchs... You feel you can handle the competition?"
Rakshasa Rani: "Hey, baby mjaurrr – you see these swords we got? Mjaurrr and we got lots of them."
Rakshasa Raja: "We can handle it. We're tough. Got lots of umph."
Anchor: "Yes, I can see that – plenty of attack and defence... lots of hit points, and what's that special ability of yours, Mr. Upgrade?"
Rakshasa Raja: "It's called mjaurrr "dash" – it's sort of like a haste spell."
Anchor: "So, if the hero bases his strategy on casting mass haste spells... you're just about useless? Or, I mean, you spend a whole turn on casting a spell on yourself – the result being that you still take a total of two turns to get to the enemy?"
Rakshasa Raja: "Now mjaurrr, don't forget the extra umph mjaurrr, and then there's the real bonus, which is this mane. Grrreat, isn't it? Rani on the mjaurrr other hand looks like a prepubescent kitten."
Rakshasa Rani: "We're not mjaurrr talking about that."
Anchor: "Dude, what's this growling and purring going on all the time?"
Rakshasa Raja: "Sorry mjaurrr, it's part of our programming mjaurr to purr and growl all the time. You know, mjaurrr to underline the fact that we're cats mjaurr. There's nothing we can do about it, sorry."
Anchor: "Oh, it's not your fault. Let's move on now, to... Say, what's going on?"
Rakshasa Rani: "Ah, he's just taking a nap. You know cats have a tendency to mjaurr fall asleep from time to time."
Anchor: "Er... isn't that a bit of a drawback – I mean, what if you suddenly collapse in the midst of a deciding battle?"
Rakshasa Rani: "I used to have that problem."
Anchor: "I've got another thing on my pad too; the lighting issue. When you enter combat, you tend to..."
Rakshasa Raja: "zzzzzz... rrrumph! Uh, eh? What'd I miss?"
Anchor: "...light up like Christmas trees. Ah, welcome back."
Rakshasa Rani: "You don't mjaurr like it?"
Anchor: "Well, it's not so much a question of personal likes or dislikes, it's more a question of why this peculiar phenomenon manifests itself."
Rakshasa Raja: "Mjaurr?"
Anchor: "I mean, the manifestation of peculiar and inexplicable illumination does generate a question of certain questionable adjudications on part of the designers – what is your response to this?"
Rakshasas: "Eeee... mjaurr??"
Anchor: "Why do you glow like that? Do the designers have any idea what they are doing?"
Rakshasa Rani: "It's an aura thing mjaurr."
Anchor: "Well, that's all right then."
Rakshasa Raja: "We're hungry. Got any mjaurr milk mjaurr around here?"
Rakshasa Rani: "Mjaurr or a piece of fish, we'll take fish too mjaurr."
Anchor: "Sorry."
Rakshasa Raja: "We'll just have to mjaurr tough it out."
Rakshasa Rani: "Nap time."
Anchor: "Just one last thing..."
Rakshasa Rani: "zzzzzz..."
Rakshasa Raja: "Too late."
Anchor: "Heavens. I need a drink, you want one?"
Rakshasa Raja: "Sure mjaurr. Vodka martini please mjauurrr. Hold the gin, hold the vermouth, and mjaurr can I have two pounds of raw meat instead of an olive?"
Anchor: "Eeeeerr..."
Rakshasa Raja: "Feed meee!!"
Anchor: "Ouch!"
Rakshasa Raja: "Do you see how hungry I am? Mjaurrr..."
Anchor: "Hang on, I think I have some biscuits here somewhere..."
Rakshasa Rani: "...zzzz... mmmtuna? Yes, please – lemme just get the lorry... zzz..."

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:16

This sure was a great bargain

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:21

I'm starting to suspect that Kalah has a bunch of this things ready and now he's just figuring out what to get out of ppl for them. Milla, quote my former reply...

DaemianLucifer · Unread postby **DaemianLucifer** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:21

Kalah wrote:We're glad to be back from holiday, which is to say we're not, but we have to make a living somehow

Meaning you dont want the fans to lynch you

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 19 Sep 2006, 21:38

Oh, and BTW, mjaurr?! That's how it's spelled up there?

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 20 Sep 2006, 01:07

nice work Kalah, almost like you where never gone

theLuckyDragon · Unread postby **theLuckyDragon** » 21 Sep 2006, 08:53

I'd love to read it, but knowing Kalah's talents, I'm afraid I might laugh too hard and that wouldn't be good for me right now.

Ethric · Unread postby **Ethric** » 21 Sep 2006, 11:34

Having to pay for women's msn-addresses now, eh? Tsk tsk, I wouldn't have thought it would come to this, shame to see it happen.

Well at least the article was quite droll

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