Random thoughts

[Pol]

All readings at nominal level.

[asandir]

All readings at nominal level.

ahh, you do like to tease

[ScarlettP]

I'm surprised that Sandi keeps such a close eye on his count.

------------

(Pardon me for a moment)

MEN ARE SUCH BLOCKHEADS!!!!

(Ok, go on about your business.)

[Elvin]

Yeah that seemed a bit strange. For one over 14k posts he is pretty watchful

[Ceres]

That's probably a bug?

[ScarlettP]

Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that SANDI was a Blockhead.

I'm just pissed at my long time net buddy & personal trainer Nik. We've had a 'misunderstanding' and now I think he's gone for the holidays. I Detest dealing with unresolved issues. Nik is one of those people who can only correspond from his computer at work, so I probably will not hear from him again until after New Years - IF he's still speaking to me.

Nik is a New Yorker, and honestly, very much like Ethric or Vel. Most of his responses are short and sarcastic, so I normally take pretty much everything he says to be a joke. However, for the past month or so, he's been saying things that really bothered me. So I finally told him that I was angry with him because he had hurt my feelings. He asked Why? & wanted examples of hurtful things that he had said. I told him. Then, he got mad at ME because I had 'taken things the wrong way' and he was 'saddened that I never really knew him at all.' *eye roll*

I responded with another long point by point message that took me TWO HOURS to type! I apologized for hurting HIS feelings and explained that it is difficult to 'know someone' who never tells much about themselves other than jokes. One can only judge a given situation by what one knows. If you don't know exactly how ONE person acts/reacts, then you have to apply how OTHERS have acted/reacted in similar situations. Basically, I judged him harshly based on how others have deliberately hurt my feelings in the past. He claims that he never meant things the way I took them and he's 'saddened' that I could think so little of him.

Now, he's 'not speaking' to me. Actually, he has not responded to my email since Wednesday. As mentioned, his office and internet access could be closed. But it would have been NICE if he had mentioned that he was leaving in the middle of an argument!

***BIG LOUD SCREAM!!!!*****

Do you people now understand WHY I love Ethric? He's the only man who had the danged BALLS to stand up and fight with me. (Of course, it's E's nature to enjoy a good argument.) When two people ONLY have the internet as a means of communication, eventually misunderstandings are going to happen. Feelings are going to get bruised a bit. The only way to remedy the situation is to explain "What you said hurt my feelings." The frelling PROPER RESPONSE is "I'm sorry that I hurt you. That's not what I intended to do." Then it would be over.

WHY can't men figure that out? Men are such BLOCKHEADS!!! Guys, I don't care WHAT your argument with a woman is. The proper answer is ALWAYS, "I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings." You can then go on to solve the problem. You don't have to admit that you were WRONG for your actions, simply that you validate that the female in your life has harsh feelings about you. Say that you are Sorry that you Upset her!

**Rant over** I gotta go to the gym and throw some weights around.

[Elvin]

I didn't take it like that anyway.

I'm sorry for that, I have had my share of misunderstandings and if there's something I have learnt is to let some things go and say I'm sorry.
I'll admit that it bugs me when some people do not understand when I am joking, especially if we have had a conversation where some things about me are clear but I never disappear or hold a grudge. At worst I may feel a bit sad.

Leaving things hanging for a period of time can be frustrating, you never know if the other forgot about it or will not talk to you the next time. And usually both people feel bad and would want to apologize in the meantime.

[ScarlettP]

See? That's just it. Friends have misunderstandings. It's normal. For guys, a misunderstanding is normally over with a conversations like:

Guy#1 "*something ugly*"
Guy#2 "That was harsh."
Guy#1 "My Bad."

Fight over!

For some stupid reason, when it's a male & a female, it gets all COMPLICATED.

Guy "*something ugly*"
Chick "That was insensitive."
Guy "That's not what I said. You're silly."
Chick "You hurt my feelings."
Guy - Walks away thinking that he has already resolved the issue.
Chick - REALLY angry now - goes on a long, drawn out explanation.
Guy - No answer as that would be redundant.
Chick - Broods about it for a week and never truly forgives the jerk.

------ --------

Now, when Ethric & I had a disagreement, the truth of the matter is that he honestly forgot to vote in a Survivor game we were playing which got me kicked out. I threw a major temper tantrum because I thought Ethric was my FRIEND and he did it on purpose to betray me and stab me in the back. That was NOT what happened, but it took Ethric a long time to convince me otherwise. I apologized for mistrusting him and he apologized for hurting my feelings. That fight is long over. I am left with a great deal of undying respect for him for standing up like a man and fighting it out to the end. I have ZERO respect for someone who implies "I'm right. You're wrong." and goes off to pout about it in the corner and stop speaking. FRIENDS do not let FRIENDSHIPS die over a misunderstanding.

Don't know about the rest of you guys... but I don't get upset over a fight. I'm upset over Nik acting like our FIFTEEN YEAR friendship is not worth fighting for. THAT ticks me off.

[Elvin]

FRIENDS do not let FRIENDSHIPS die over a misunderstanding.

That pretty much says it all. Still he may just left the discussion in a 'she's gotta be kidding, she should have realized' style only to start talking to you later. Men like avoiding complications so they can make it even more in the process You said it yourself that you only communicate from work so no need to keep hard feelings yet.

[Pol]

Maybe he's got outta to vacation, having black out in his connection or too much work at last moment. Don't bother with that - it will clear yourself after time. Rearange the conversation from 'imminent now' to 'casual anytime'

[The Mad Dragon]

The reason why its more complicated with a guy and a girl is because it's just that. Things are always different/complicated when it comes to guy/girl. Those misunderstandings between guy/guy and girl/girl are generally revolved quickly. Why? Because they understand each other.

Now, I'm not saying that guys and girls understand each other, but lets face it, guys and girls operate on different wave lengths. That could be why it takes so long for a guy and a girl to get done fighting.

Myself, I try to stay out of fights that generally don't concern me. Reason being, is I've put up with a lot of BS and I really don't feel like dealing with anything other BS if I can help it.

It sucks to see two friends fighting when they've been friends a long time. Only thing you can really hope for is for the guy to come around. We normally do after awhile.

[Ethric]

However, for the past month or so, he's been saying things that really bothered me. So I finally told him that I was angry with him because he had hurt my feelings. He asked Why? & wanted examples of hurtful things that he had said. I told him. Then, he got mad at ME because I had 'taken things the wrong way' and he was 'saddened that I never really knew him at all.' *eye roll*

This is dog training 101: punish bad behaviour right there and then, waiting only causes confusion.

My "fault" is of course that I am impatient and fairly pragmatic. Arguing with women would 1) take forever and 2) end ugly anyway. Doesn't matter that I'm right

Guess the ball's in Mr Hurt and Saddened's court now then. Never trust long haired guys unless they are wearing corpse makeup and growling praise to Satan, that's what I say.

[The Mad Dragon]

Your assumption of never trusting long haired guys is rather incorrect. My cousin, who happens to have long hair, is one of the most trust worthy and honorable people I know. He has gone to bat for me and even let me move in temporarily when I needed a place.

While I'm not trying to start any fights, please try not to generalize that ALL long haired men are not trusting.

[Ethric]

I am hurt and saddened that you assumed I was serious

On the other hand, since you aren't a woman, I can safely step in and for the sake of argument assume I was serious. This leads me to, firstly, ask if that cousin of yours fulfill the one legitimate reason for a man to have long hair, namely being into metal-music? And even if he isn't, it doesn't matter for the perspective of his relationships with women how he treats you, his male cousin.

Fight!

Hey, that's the first time I've gotten to use that smiley. Shiny.

[The Mad Dragon]

Yea, he listens to metal music. And he treats women pretty well. He's quite respectful towards them, so long as they are not disrespectful towards him.

[Ethric]

Yea, he listens to metal music.

There we are then, long hair permission granted.

[The Mad Dragon]

My hair is long, but I listen to metal music on occasion. But it's not the normal long hair. It sticks out and doesn't really go down. Think of an afro, but with the hair more outwards than curled. Only reason why I haven't gotten it cut yet, is because its winter.

[ScarlettP]

*giggle* You guys are WONDERFUL! Has anyone mentioned that lately? Well, don't let it go to your heads. *BIG hugs all around* I apologize for having been in such a rotten mood this morning. You guys make it WAY better by providing a masculine point of view.

And, Mad Dragon, I believe that Ethric was poking fun because I once mentioned that Thunder Titan reminded of Nik because they both posted pics of themselves peeking out from behind a face full of long brown hair. That's about the only thing those two have in common! Nik is a drummer and used to play in both Rock-n-Roll & Country bands. Don't think he does either anymore. Maybe that's why his wife finally managed to talk him into cutting the hair short. He no longer has that "Metal Music" excuse.

[The Mad Dragon]

Ah, I see.

Its ok Scarlett, we all have days where we are grumpy.

On a side note, I have more posts than you now . I'm surpassing current Round Table Knights...that's scary

[Elvin]

No.. It is destiny Seriously though if someone has the potential to surpass them all(apart from stefan that is ) it is you. You post like crazy.