Random thoughts

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 01:51

indeed, and on that point, maybe it's time to branch out a little, without friends you will get that depression often, with them not so much .... you need to make some changes, probably not the slitting kind though

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 01:54

How can I have friends when I'm always stuck at home? Without a computer!

Thank you Elvin-san, you really lessen the burden. Thanks for your concern and everything

And stefan, thanks too. Tolds yah, you are a nice guy.

Vlad976 · Unread postby **Vlad976** » 08 Nov 2007, 01:55

Why are you stuck at home?

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 01:59

Because my parents don't want me to go anywhere and if I need to go somewhere I'm like in a police interrogation scene.

Vlad976 · Unread postby **Vlad976** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:00

Ouch. Sounds like overprotective parents.

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:01

you are 25 correct? can you not move out of home?

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:06

I can't they don't want me to leave them. There was a time I was insisting that I go abroad to work because its better there but they don't want me to.

And now I'm stuck here. It's like they are the one who choose things for me. They choose my school, my course, my work.

Elvin · Unread postby **Elvin** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:08

Besides that do you even need to ask permission to go out..? I had that problem at some time(well for returning late

) but if your parents see that you'll do your thing regardless they'll have to accept it. BUT if they see you do nothing about it the more overprotective they will be.

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:10

but that's my very question .... being 25 would put you over the age of majority right? you can vote, drink, have sex, drive, whatever legally correct? then the only thing stopping you is your parents ..... correction, the only thing stopping you is that you are obeying your parents .... so it's you really - it comes down to how you want to live your life, because it is your life not your parents.

respect them, sure, listen to what they say, definately, but you make your own decisions, you have a job, you have an income, do what you want to make yourself happy .... you only get one life so make the most out of it for you

Vlad976 · Unread postby **Vlad976** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:12

Edit:
Eh, what he said.

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:13

Everytime I go out I need to ask their permission. And they will ask questions like where are you going? whom are you with? what time will you go home? why do you need to go there? etc...

And if they don't like one of the answers they will insist that I should not go. And if I still insist that I need to go, they will try to get informations like your friend's phone number, your friends address, etc...

And if I need to go home very late, they will say "we'll pick you up there..."

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:15

that doesn't answer my questions from above

in any case, that's not so different what happened with my parents, and I will likely be the same with my kids too, the only way you're ever gonna get past this is if you move out of home, it's the ONLY WAY, regardless of what they want, if it makes you happy

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:21

I cannot defy my parents for some personal reasons. I know you are right that I should be on my own. But I just cannot disobey them. I love them, ofcourse, I respect them too. But there's just a need to obey them. I cannot really tell here.

Elvin · Unread postby **Elvin** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:21

I still live with my folks and it's definitely not the only way to stop this nor did it have to take ages to get my way. Also in case you are secretive or don't talk much to them you are making them justified in a way. Considering you are a bit introverted it would not surprise me.

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:25

[Influence: Failure] I cannot tell it here because it is something different, unnatural and normal people won't be able to understand it. That's why.

Too much for my past, let's just leave that behind.

Thank you everybody! I think I'm fine now... Thank you so much Elvin-san for always being there

So let's go back to the topic and be happy!

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:26

you can pm me if you like, but that's upto you

all I can really say about it is, that if it continues to build up - I mean your unhappiness, then it will eventually explode, you could hurt yourself, or hurt them, or someone else (as a cry for help), you could lose it at them, there are a number of possibilities - none of them are things they would be happy about, I have no doubt they love you, but one of the biggest problems between parents and their kids as they get to adults is that the parents are overprotective and think they know better what is right for them (mostly they do, but not always and besides, people learn and grow from their own mistakes) .... there will come a point when something has to give, it is better IMO to have a heart to heart with them about your feelings and what you would like to do, I don't know your situation, but as a parent I will say that they should at the least listen to what you are saying, then go from there

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:41

I just exploded last night and happen to hurt myself. But I'm fine now. I fixed it.

I agree with you stefan. I've always had a heart to heart talk with my mom., but not my dad he is so insensitive! But still she prevails. Well, I just accept it. I know they just want the best thing for me. And besides I want them to be proud of me, and they are.

I'm not bragging, but I think I have a good image here. And they praise me, and some of their friends/relative envy them because of having a good daughter, you know not straying too far unlike their children who happen to go out with boys/girls, go home very late, not respect them etc. Well, I'm happy about it but ofcourse there are always disadvantages and I just feel sorry for myself that it hits me.

It's not that I'm being proud or something, I love my parents and I always consider them when I do things.

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:45

fair enough .... but I'd be less than honest if I didn't say that these things have a habit of going on and on and on until something has to give ....

don't let it get to that

Ceres · Unread postby **Ceres** » 08 Nov 2007, 02:56

Ofcourse stefan, thanks so much.

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Nov 2007, 03:01

my pleasure, we're here to try and help if it's needed

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