The Pointless but funny links-thread

MistWeaver · Unread postby **MistWeaver** » 05 Oct 2007, 23:19

Also, this is a funnier celebrity incident: http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1213872318

That was awesome

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 06 Oct 2007, 00:17

nice work on the undies pic TT

Elvin · Unread postby **Elvin** » 06 Oct 2007, 00:34

He's got a point

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Oct 2007, 03:34

that celeb incident was pretty funny

damn funny actually

check this for an amusing breakdown of the "incident"

MistWeaver · Unread postby **MistWeaver** » 08 Oct 2007, 11:08

asandir wrote: check this for an amusing breakdown of the "incident"

Damn, that Jonny guy is pathetic. He's going to sue Danny ? Good luck retard.

---------

New Futurama movie trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNYtLJsUOAk

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 08 Oct 2007, 14:56

nice fox burn...

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Posting ID: *********

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-*********:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

MistWeaver · Unread postby **MistWeaver** » 08 Oct 2007, 16:19

Haha, that was great. I'd give much to see her face when she was reading that.

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 08 Oct 2007, 18:53

She was probably economically enlightened... and turned to high brow prostitution... it's the best option from a economical PoV.

Oh, and some stupid youtube joke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xet_cgYuUW8

Elvin · Unread postby **Elvin** » 08 Oct 2007, 18:58

That was one marvelous conversation

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 08 Oct 2007, 20:07

ThunderTitan wrote:Also, my genius finally proved global warming is real:

Eesh, I shudder to think people actually wore those at the far left

Why oh why did they have to be so huge?!!! It's like a tent!

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 08 Oct 2007, 20:42

Milla aka. the Slayer wrote: Eesh, I shudder to think people actually wore those at the far left Why oh why did they have to be so huge?!!! It's like a tent!

It came in handy if they got lost in the wilderness...

And Brokestar Trek: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xSOuLky3n0

MistWeaver · Unread postby **MistWeaver** » 08 Oct 2007, 20:44

Milla aka. the Slayer wrote: Eesh, I shudder to think people actually wore those at the far left Why oh why did they have to be so huge?!!! It's like a tent!

I wonder what ppl from 18th century would say about those at the far right

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 08 Oct 2007, 20:46

MistWeaver wrote: I wonder what ppl from 18th century would say about those at the far right

somthing along the lines of "doesn't it bother them to have those up the arse all the time"?!

Milla aka. the Slayer · Unread postby **Milla aka. the Slayer** » 08 Oct 2007, 20:52

ThunderTitan wrote:It came in handy if they got lost in the wilderness...

Double meaning?

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 08 Oct 2007, 23:40

Double meaning?

isn't it always?

somthing along the lines of "doesn't it bother them to have those up the arse all the time"?!

ThunderTitan · Unread postby **ThunderTitan** » 09 Oct 2007, 11:23

asandir wrote: isn't it always?

Not always.... just most of the time.

And it's simple to tell... if you pr Milla think it has it doesn't, if you don't it does...

asandir · Unread postby **asandir** » 10 Oct 2007, 07:09

that does depend a little on who's online, I'll grant you that

Elvin · Unread postby **Elvin** » 10 Oct 2007, 07:20

I guess it depends on who you want it to read at times

MistWeaver · Unread postby **MistWeaver** » 10 Oct 2007, 19:58

Gaidal Cain · Unread postby **Gaidal Cain** » 10 Oct 2007, 20:08

Her daughter is named "Help I'm trapped in a driver's licence factory".

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