Bizarre News

[ThunderTitan]

Yeah, i bet he had self esteem problems... everyone knows that causes people to be sexual attracted to other species.

[Panda Tar]

Actually, isn't there a guy who married his own poodle?

[gravyluvr]

Police officers rushed to the scene and arrested the teenager who was charged with burglary and sexual abuse of an animal.

Had it been in Sweden he'd only be charged of burglary

Here, we would instantly shoot his type in the head.

How could you shoot an innocent, though sexually promiscuous, horse?


BTW... I could defend the boy...

OK Mr. Ed, did the defendant break into the barn? Neigh.
At any point leading up to the glorious act did you feel threatened? Neigh.
Did you at any point ask Johnny to stop touching you? Neigh.
Did you mind when he asked you to play Secretariat? Neigh.
Did you feel violated at any point? Neigh.
Last question... should my client be found guilty? Neigh.
I rest my case!

[ThunderTitan]

Finally, a solution to the threat of carnal sin:

School penalizes students for hugs, high-fives
Strict no-contact rule, meant to stem violence, has some pushing for change

IENNA, Va. - A rule against physical contact at a Fairfax County middle school is so strict that students can be sent to the principal's office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.

Unlike some schools in the Washington area, which ban fighting or inappropriate touching, Kilmer Middle School in Vienna bans all touching — and that has some parents lobbying for a change.

Hugging was Hal Beaulieu's crime when he sat next to his girlfriend at lunch a few months ago and put his arm around her shoulder. He was given a warning, but told that repeat missteps could lead to detention.

"I think hugging is a good thing," said Hal, a seventh-grader. "I put my arm around her. It was like for 15 seconds. I didn't think it would be a big deal."

But at a school of 1,100 students that was meant to accommodate 850, school officials think some touching can turn into a big deal. They've seen pokes lead to fights, gang signs in the form of handshakes or girls who are uncomfortable being hugged but embarrassed to say anything.

"You get into shades of gray," Kilmer Principal Deborah Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' "

Hernandez said the no-touching rule is meant to ensure that all students are comfortable and crowded hallways and lunchrooms stay safe. She said school officials are allowed to use their judgment in enforcing the rule. Typically, only repeat offenders are reprimanded.

'Making out goes too far'
But such a strict policy doesn't seem necessary to 13-year-old Hal and his parents, who have written a letter to the county school board asking for a review of the rule. Hugging is encouraged in their home, and their son has been taught to greet someone with a handshake.

Hal said he feels he knows what's appropriate and what's not.

[vulnevia]

Right. It's okay, if the animal wants the sex too.

Yeah, and good luck trying to ask an animal "hey hon, up for some sex tonight?"

Just leave the poor animals alone, if you can't get a gf, just help yourself instead of jumping a poor horse...

[gravyluvr]

Finally, a solution to the threat of carnal sin:

School penalizes students for hugs, high-fives
Strict no-contact rule, meant to stem violence, has some pushing for change

VIENNA, Va. - A rule against physical contact at a Fairfax County middle school is so strict that students can be sent to the principal's office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.

Kilmer Middle School is really close (9 miles) to where I live and was one of the area Middle Schools that used to participate in events with mine when I grew up (Frost Middle School).

Standard over-reaction though I'm guessing that the boy was feeling up his girlfriend and that's what got him sent to the principal's office.

[Omega_Destroyer]

I hope that makes it to court. I'd love to see the court smack around the school board for infringing on First Amendment rights.

[Panda Tar]

What's that? A robot school? If you can't even shake hands or high-fives, you'll be moving just to write.

Will they forbid guys from shaking their **** after peeing as well?

[Omega_Destroyer]

I would not want the job of bathroom monitor.

[Veldrynus]

Just leave the poor animals alone, if you can't get a gf, just help yourself instead of jumping a poor horse...

Ok, ok.

[gravyluvr]

I hope that makes it to court. I'd love to see the court smack around the school board for infringing on First Amendment rights.

Around here that's known as second base.

[Veldrynus]

Will they forbid guys from shaking their **** after peeing as well?

Of course, that's America.

http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/index.asp

[jeff]

Frequently in the US because of civil rights, you are forced to enforce all or nothing. That however certainly does not justify the Fairfax school board action.

[Corribus]

Parents are pissed at the school because their kid got detention because the rules were too strict. "My student got detention for hugging another student? Outrageous!" Hello, lawsuit. School is sued. But, parents would also get pissed if the rules were not strict enough and their kid got touched in a manner judged - by the parent - to be inappropriate. "My student got hugged by some filthy boy. That's sexual assault! Outrageous!" Hello, lawsuit. School is sued.

Problem is, in this day and age everybody is so goddamned (sorry) sue-happy, particularly parents when it comes to their precious children who need constant protection from EVERYTHING, that schools are backed into a corner. They have to take rules to an absurd level to appease overprotective parents, and even then someone is unhappy when the rules lead to ridiculous outcomes.

Don't blame the schools. Blame the legal system - and the people who abused it - which forces the schools into making such ludicrous policies.

[Veldrynus]

This reminds me on the South Park episode "Sexual Harassment Panda".

[Omega_Destroyer]

Parents are pissed at the school because their kid got detention because the rules were too strict. "My student got detention for hugging another student? Outrageous!" Hello, lawsuit. School is sued. But, parents would also get pissed if the rules were not strict enough and their kid got touched in a manner judged - by the parent - to be inappropriate. "My student got hugged by some filthy boy. That's sexual assault! Outrageous!" Hello, lawsuit. School is sued.

Problem is, in this day and age everybody is so goddamned (sorry) sue-happy, particularly parents when it comes to their precious children who need constant protection from EVERYTHING, that schools are backed into a corner. They have to take rules to an absurd level to appease overprotective parents, and even then someone is unhappy when the rules lead to ridiculous outcomes.

Don't blame the schools. Blame the legal system - and the people who abused it - which forces the schools into making such ludicrous policies.

Good ol' steady employment opportunities.

[Panda Tar]

This reminds me on the South Park episode "Sexual Harassment Panda".

That could be anything else, but then: a panda... +

[Thelonious]

At my old school they also restricted some of those things as well. Yet there was a huge difference, those rules were never 'enforced' and because it was a school filled with 7th, 8th and 9th (if I'm correct; children aged 12 - 15) graders there were no real cases of 'inappropriate touching'

[Corribus]

because it was a school filled with 7th, 8th and 9th (if I'm correct; children aged 12 - 15) graders there were no real cases of 'inappropriate touching'

Well, there's also teachers... and priests if it was a Catholic school.

[winterfate]

@Corribus: Low blow!

Catholic priests are above temptation...how dare you say that Corribus?

Nah, just kidding. But I'd better stop before I start a religious discussion...