Bizarre News

[gravyluvr]

Tar obviously has no first hand experiance with a bunch of Southern Rednecks. There are no "rules" to the games they play. They are steriotypically drunk, roudy and have more guns than you can count. They shoot anything that moves - including eachother. And Love Dale Earnhart WAY more than the Virgin Mary.

That's cuz she never put out! (do not damn me... total joke)

Some of these were posted on the first page of this thread but since there were more (and they mad me laugh), I thought I would include them all...

R E A L H E A D L I N E S

1. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
2. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
3. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
4. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
5. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
6. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
7. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
8. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
9. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
10. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
11. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
12. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
13. Eye Drops Off Shelf
14. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
15. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
17. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
18. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
19. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
20. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
21. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
22. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
23. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
24. War Dims Hope for Peace
25. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
26. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
27. Deer Kill 17,000
28. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
29. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[ThunderTitan]

(Don't worry. It's a joke. Could work though.)

Could it?

Yeah, soon the rednecks would kill every moving thing over there. But in 10 years the desert would be overrunned with inbred white trash.

[gravyluvr]

(Don't worry. It's a joke. Could work though.)

Could it?

Yeah, soon the rednecks would kill every moving thing over there. But in 10 years the desert would be overrun with inbred white trash.

Oh contraire mon frare...

White Trash don't usually have (and can not afford) guns (or multiple cars) and they live in trailer parks or old roadside motels that have been converted into apartments (hence the interchangeable term "Trailer Trash").

Red Necks live in houses so they can park the working car on the front lawn and the "retired" car in the back yard for target practice. The driveway is filled with the cars they are working on and either a stock car or Demolition Derby entry (depends on the condition).

White Trash will steal your lawn furniture - Red Necks will help you track them down and shoot them.

Red Necks display the Confederate Flag (by flag, shirt, or bumper sticker) because they are proud of their Southern heritage - White Trash do it to instigate fights with blacks.

Red Necks are avid hunters, fishermen and outdoors-men who respect wildlife, won't kill more than they can eat and they carry a loaded rifle in their pickup because they are proud of their right to bear arms and believe in self-defense. White Trash are avid trespassers who would shoot a deer just for the antlers and leave the body to rot - and (if they own either) the gun in their truck is used to shoot up the Piggly Wiggly.

Red Necks usually are church goin' folk that you could trust since they absolutely will not steal and wouldn't harm anyone who never did them wrong. White Trash would take whatever you trusted them with to the pawn shop before you could say deep fried turkey legs.

Neither group would ever be confused as a Southern Gentleman but that doesn't mean their ain't a huge difference between a redneck and white trash.

(gravyluvr jumps back down from the potato sack)

[Panda Tar]

Too much info for me. I'd rather think rednecks as people who wander too much under a burning sun. White trash is what is littering in a trash can used only by a cartoonist who is often not pleased with his own work.

[ThunderTitan]

White Trash will steal your lawn furniture - Red Necks will help you track them down and shoot them.

Precisely... once all the arabs are dead they'd need new prey.

[ScarlettP]

Nope. Not a problem... Red Necks also have Bass Boats. They'll get home.

The "Real Headlines" were so funny I couldn't see to read them all. Had to print them out for my husband. Now I have to go copy them over to my other forum.

[Mytical]

A boy tried to have a picture of himself with armor and sword printed in a school yearbook. The picture was turned down, because of the weapon. This despite the fact that the school mascot is typically show or depicted with a weapon. The principal stated that the school has a zero tolerence for weapons. Note the picture was not taken on school grounds, but sent in by the student after taking it at home. At no time did the student bring the weapon to the school. Also the school's play is often McBeth which includes weapons in the play....is that weird or what?

[Panda Tar]

Silly people. Even words can be weapons anyway.

Oh, a terrible accident happened in São Paulo.

http://video.globo.com/Videos/Player/No ... LO,00.html

The urbantrain tunnel has collapsed and oppened a huge crater in the middle of the city, killing a LOT of people. Probably 7.

[ThunderTitan]

@PandaTar:

The video only runs on IE...

Woman dies of 'water intoxication' after radio contest

A preliminary autopsy states that a woman died of "water intoxication" following a water drinking contest for a Nintendo Wii. News10 in Sacramento reports Station 107.9 The End's "Hold your wee for a Wii" contest had contestants doing exactly what the title says. The winner was the person who didn't release their bladder the longest. According to the woman's co-worker, after the contest, "She said to one of our supervisors that she was on her way home and her head was hurting her real bad ... she was crying and that was the last that anyone had heard from her." The co-workers contacted the woman's mother later on to check up how she was doing and she discovered the body. No word yet on how much water the woman consumed.

[Panda Tar]

@PandaTar:

The video only runs on IE...

Oh, that happens when it comes to TV-channel website, doesn't it? Rede Globo Central de Jornalismo.

A preliminary autopsy states that a woman died of "water intoxication" following a water drinking contest for a Nintendo Wii. News10 in Sacramento reports Station 107.9 The End's "Hold your wee for a Wii" contest had contestants doing exactly what the title says. The winner was the person who didn't release their bladder the longest. According to the woman's co-worker, after the contest, "She said to one of our supervisors that she was on her way home and her head was hurting her real bad ... she was crying and that was the last that anyone had heard from her." The co-workers contacted the woman's mother later on to check up how she was doing and she discovered the body. No word yet on how much water the woman consumed.

That was stupid, really. How come they make a contest like that?

[ThunderTitan]

That was stupid, really. How come they make a contest like that?

Well water isn't exactly known as a poisonous substance. Of course the contest makers should have prob checked with a doctor beforehand.

[Panda Tar]

Yes, there's also that toxic matter. But it's well known that drinking too much water may kill people (not a drowning joke, pu-lease). Didn't they even thought about that?

Added later:

Really? Coz i be that if you ask random ppl on the street they won't know. And let's not forget these are american we're talking about.

Meanie! *slap, slap*

[ThunderTitan]

But it's well known that drinking too much water may kill people

Really? Coz i be that if you ask random ppl on the street they won't know. And let's not forget these are american we're talking about.

[ScarlettP]

Dracula's Castle is up for Sale!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jh ... cula09.xml

Blood is up over sale of Dracula's castle

By Katy Duke in Brasov
Last Updated: 1:47am GMT 10/01/2007

Romanian officials were embroiled in a battle yesterday over who has the right to buy the country's most popular tourist site, known as Dracula's Castle, after it went on the market late last year.

Bran Castle, briefly home to Prince Vlad Tepes III, known as Vlad the Impaler and the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Count Dracula, was returned to the Habsburg family last year after being seized by the Communists in 1956.

Bran Castle in Romania
Bran Castle, in central Romania, was the home of Prince Vlad 'the Impaler' Tepes III, who inspired Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Within months, Dominic von Habsburg put the castle up for sale for £40 million. (*Edit - that's $77 Million American)

Yesterday councillors in Brasov, central Romania, said they had secured a loan to buy the 14th century Transylvanian castle. But the culture minister, Adrian Iorgulescu, said his ministry had first refusal on the castle under terms agreed when it was returned.

Mr von Habsburg's lawyer, Corin Trandafir, confirmed that his client had approached Brasov council three weeks ago and the lawyer had helped the council arrange a loan with a Vienna-based bank.

Mr Iorgulescu countered: "The purchase offer is illegal as we have the first refusal. Brasov county council can think about buying the castle only after the culture ministry says it is not interested, and we have not yet even made our offer."

He said, however, that his ministry was not prepared to pay the £40 million asking price as it was "indecently high and exaggerated compared to the real value of the castle".

A proper evaluation needed to be made before any sale could be agreed, he added.

Mr von Habsburg, 68, a US-based graphic designer, lived in the castle as a child when it was owned by his grandmother, Romania's Queen Marie, a grandchild of Queen Victoria.

After the fortress was seized by the communists it was turned into a museum. It is the country's greatest tourist attraction despite the fact that its links to Prince Vlad Tepes III are tenuous.

It is not known how long he stayed there and whether he was a guest or a prisoner in the castle's dungeons.

He gained his grisly reputation because of his habit of executing opponents by impaling them on spikes and watching as they slowly bled to death.

Personally, if I had $77 Million, I'd go buy it and turn it into a Theme Park.

[Thelonious]

If only... But then there would be a whole lot of other changes as well...

News from Holland; a bit bizzar but more shocking.

The 'level crossing barriers' (that what's in my dictionairy - what I mean are those leavers that prohibit you from crossing a railway track when a train is comming) were mal-functioning and were closed all the time. So a guy with time on his hands who happened to cross those things thought he'd help the community and started pushing the leavers up so cars could pass. Eventually the guy helped a truck cross the railway. When he was standing there holding up one leaver, another guy was pushing the other leaver up.
But, here it comes, a train came their way. It hit the truck... The guy still in the truck was killed, the train had stopped a 100 meters further and the truck had flipped maining that the front end was now where the back end was before the crash.
The 'helpfull samaritan' called 112 (Holland's 911) after the accident

[ThunderTitan]

Personally, if I had $77 Million, I'd go buy it and turn it into a Theme Park.

Yeah... no thank you, i'd rather keep it a national tresure then a silly theme park based on a name of a guy that had little to do with the casttle anyway. I wonder wht will happen to the museum.

[Panda Tar]

http://g1.globo.com/Noticias/0,,MUL1023 ... 11,00.html

Panda is under a diet to increase sexual appetitte. Oh, not me. I'm confident and can do the job.

That's in Thailand. The news are in Portuguese, though.

[ThunderTitan]

Briliant ideea, there's nothing like eating things you don't like to get you in the mood. But still Panda Porn....

[asandir]

Study finds scientists' social status extends lifespan
Scientists who have won a Nobel prize live nearly two years longer than those who have only been nominated, suggesting that social status confers "health-giving magic," British researchers say.

The researchers say there is evidence to link health and status in monkeys but it has been difficult until now to do the same for humans because status often brought more wealth, which improves living standards and medical care.

Andrew Oswald, an economist at Warwick University, conducted the study with Matthew Rablen, a former Warwick postgraduate researcher who is now a government economist.

"Status seems to work a kind of health-giving magic," Professor Oswald said in a university press release.

"Once we do the statistical corrections, walking across that platform in Stockholm apparently adds about two years to a scientist's life-span.

"How status does this, we just don't know."

The study, entitled "Mortality and Immortality" and published this month, focused on Nobel prize winners "as an ideal group to study as the winners could be seen as having their status suddenly dropped on them" the statement said.

They were easy to study because they could be directly measured against those who were nominated for a Nobel prize but did not actually win one.

The researchers studied 524 men - 135 winners and 389 nominees - in the competition for the physics and chemistry prizes between 1901 and 1950.

1950 was the cut-off point because the full list of nominees is kept secret for 50 years.

They looked at one sex only to avoid differences in life span between sexes.

The total had been 528 but they dropped four who died in war or from other causes that were not natural.

The average life span for this group was just over 76 years.

Prize winners lived 1.4 years longer on average - or 77.2 years - than those who were merely nominated for the award.

"When the survey was restricted to only comparing winners and nominees from the same country, the longevity gap widened even more by around another two thirds of a year on average," the university said in a statement.

Though the prize money increased with time, the actual amount had no effect on the longevity of the recipient, the researchers said, "suggesting that it is the sheer status boost of the award that is important in extending lifespan".

They also tried to determine whether the number of times a scientist was nominated for a Nobel Prize had any effect, but found none.

"Actually winning the Nobel prize was what counted," they said.

I've got a question for these geniuses .... wtf are you studying this???!!!!

[ScarlettP]

I guess they were trying to live longer by winning a Nobel Prize.