I thought I would revive this old thread from the other boards (there called "Funny News"). Please, post any funny (or bizarre) news tidbits here - or any other funny web-diversions for that matter.
Here's my first contribution:
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articl ... 12-ON.html
Flying shrimp allegedly causes man's death
Associated Press
Jan. 12, 2006 01:15 PM
MINEOLA, N.Y. - A shrimp a hibachi chef tossed at a man eating at a Japanese steakhouse ultimately led to the diner's death, his family claims in a $10 million wrongful death lawsuit against the restaurant chain Benihana.
Jerry Colaitis wrenched his neck when he ducked to avoid the shrimp in the chain's Munsey Park restaurant, attorney Andre Ferenzo said in opening statements Wednesday.
Months after the January 2001 incident, the 43-year-old Long Island man died from complications caused by neck surgery he required afterward, the lawyer said.
Benihana lawyer Charles Connick said it was unlikely a chef who works for tips would toss food at customers after being asked not to, as Ferenzo claimed. Even if that happened, Connick added, the cause of Colaitis' death was an infection or neck injury unrelated to the shrimp.
Benihana chefs mix dining with entertainment as they grill Japanese food in front of patrons. Ferenzo said some of them have become more daring in recent years, but Connick said customers enjoy the experience.
"Some customers, especially dads and sons, want to catch the food," Connick said. "The evidence will show that it was part of the show."
Colaitis, of Old Brookville, underwent neck surgery in June 2001, but there were complications, and he had numbness in his arm, Ferenzo said. He died that November, a day after checking into a hospital with a 105-degree fever.
Bizarre News
Bizarre News
"What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" - Richard P. Feynman
Tell-tale parrot exposes cheating girlfriend
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10704041/?GT1=7538
LONDON - Chris Taylor, a 30-year-old British computer programmer, grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, “I love you, Gary.”
Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV and would mimic Suzy Collins saying, “Hiya, Gary,” every time she answered her mobile phone.
Confronted with the evidence, Collins admitted to a month-long affair with a coworker named Gary and moved out of their shared Leeds apartment that same night.
“I wasn’t sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, but it really broke my heart to let Ziggy go,” Taylor, 30, told the Times of London in its online edition Tuesday. “I love him to bits and I really miss having him around, but it was torture hearing him repeat that name over and over again.
“Ziggy was one in a million; he was a loyal friend, and I have no doubt he was looking out for me.”
Taylor said Ziggy, who was named after a David Bowie song, has found a new home thanks to a local parrot dealer.
Collins, 25, told the newspaper she was staying with friends and said she shed no tears for the tell-tale bird.
“I’m not proud of what I did but I’m sure Chris would be the first to admit we were having problems,” said Collins, a call-center worker. “We had spoken about splitting up several times and I think it was inevitable.”
She added: “I’m surprised to hear he’s got rid of that bloody bird; he spent more time talking to it than he did to me. I couldn’t stand Ziggy, and it looks now the feeling was mutual.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10704041/?GT1=7538
LONDON - Chris Taylor, a 30-year-old British computer programmer, grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, “I love you, Gary.”
Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV and would mimic Suzy Collins saying, “Hiya, Gary,” every time she answered her mobile phone.
Confronted with the evidence, Collins admitted to a month-long affair with a coworker named Gary and moved out of their shared Leeds apartment that same night.
“I wasn’t sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, but it really broke my heart to let Ziggy go,” Taylor, 30, told the Times of London in its online edition Tuesday. “I love him to bits and I really miss having him around, but it was torture hearing him repeat that name over and over again.
“Ziggy was one in a million; he was a loyal friend, and I have no doubt he was looking out for me.”
Taylor said Ziggy, who was named after a David Bowie song, has found a new home thanks to a local parrot dealer.
Collins, 25, told the newspaper she was staying with friends and said she shed no tears for the tell-tale bird.
“I’m not proud of what I did but I’m sure Chris would be the first to admit we were having problems,” said Collins, a call-center worker. “We had spoken about splitting up several times and I think it was inevitable.”
She added: “I’m surprised to hear he’s got rid of that bloody bird; he spent more time talking to it than he did to me. I couldn’t stand Ziggy, and it looks now the feeling was mutual.”
Simmons: I think you’re asking me if these computers store all the data on Red and Blue armies?
Sarge: Control Alt Bingo.
Sarge: Control Alt Bingo.
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Mutare Drake
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HA HA! Glad you restarted this, Corribus. I loved the old thread, I showed all my friends the great stories.
Here's one, don't remember all the details, I heard it on the radio last week.
[somewhere in US, I believe New Mexico]
A man caught a mouse in his house. To get rid of it, he decided to throw it on a pile of burning leaves. The mouse caught fire, and in fear, ran back into the man's house, burning it down. The entire house and everything in it was lost.
Bad karma, eh?
Here's one, don't remember all the details, I heard it on the radio last week.
[somewhere in US, I believe New Mexico]
A man caught a mouse in his house. To get rid of it, he decided to throw it on a pile of burning leaves. The mouse caught fire, and in fear, ran back into the man's house, burning it down. The entire house and everything in it was lost.
Bad karma, eh?
Bad Karma indeed, if it's true. You can read more about that one here: http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/mousefire.aspMutare Drake wrote:Here's one, don't remember all the details, I heard it on the radio last week.
"What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" - Richard P. Feynman
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DaemianLucifer
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Army of Glue-Sniffing Monkeys Terrorizes Cambodia!
A marauding colony of glue-sniffing monkeys are being rounded up by police in Cambodia.
Wild macaques, dubbed "gangster monkeys", have been seen stealing bags of glue from addicts before going on the rampage.
As well as biting people, they have been stealing laundry from homes.
Deputy governor of Phnom Penh's Daun Penh district Pich Socheata said 15 macaques had been caught so far.
A marauding colony of glue-sniffing monkeys are being rounded up by police in Cambodia.
Wild macaques, dubbed "gangster monkeys", have been seen stealing bags of glue from addicts before going on the rampage.
As well as biting people, they have been stealing laundry from homes.
Deputy governor of Phnom Penh's Daun Penh district Pich Socheata said 15 macaques had been caught so far.
Reason 5,699,143,785 why alcohol and common sense do not mix.
Drunken students posted hamster
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/camb ... 621092.stm
Two Cambridge University students who sent a hamster through the post for a joke have been fined.
David Jordan and James Cole, both 19 and Churchill College students, carried out the prank after getting drunk at a party, Ely magistrates heard.
Jordan, of Ely in Cambs, and Cole, of Marchwood, Southampton, both admitted abandoning a hamster in circumstances likely to cause suffering.
In court on Tuesday, Jordan was fined £750 and Cole fined £500.
The court heard that Jordan provided a false name and address when he bought the hamster at a pet store in Cambridge on 22 June last year and Cole lent him the money.
The pair said they carried out the prank after getting drunk
The hamster was discovered by postman Robert Maher as he was emptying a post box in Market Square in the city.
It had chewed through the envelope and its head was peeping out.
Mr Maher took the hamster to a vet where it was found to be unharmed.
In a statement, vet Jillian Pearson told the court the animal had no access to food or water and it could have been crushed.
An investigation by the police and RSPCA led to Jordan and Cole.
The hamster's head was peeping out of the envelope
Jordan told an RSPCA officer he had carried out the prank in revenge on a man with whom he had had an argument.
He said the pair had been "plastered" after attending a party.
Christina Metcalfe, mitigating for Jordan, said: "These two young men are clearly very intelligent and have made a very foolish and stupid error."
Hamish Ross, chairman of the bench, said the court believed the incident had been premeditated.
He said Cole could have prevented the prank but instead had let himself and his "college down".
In court, both men were also banned from keeping animals for the next 10 years and each ordered to pay £100 in court costs.
Drunken students posted hamster
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/camb ... 621092.stm
Two Cambridge University students who sent a hamster through the post for a joke have been fined.
David Jordan and James Cole, both 19 and Churchill College students, carried out the prank after getting drunk at a party, Ely magistrates heard.
Jordan, of Ely in Cambs, and Cole, of Marchwood, Southampton, both admitted abandoning a hamster in circumstances likely to cause suffering.
In court on Tuesday, Jordan was fined £750 and Cole fined £500.
The court heard that Jordan provided a false name and address when he bought the hamster at a pet store in Cambridge on 22 June last year and Cole lent him the money.
The pair said they carried out the prank after getting drunk
The hamster was discovered by postman Robert Maher as he was emptying a post box in Market Square in the city.
It had chewed through the envelope and its head was peeping out.
Mr Maher took the hamster to a vet where it was found to be unharmed.
In a statement, vet Jillian Pearson told the court the animal had no access to food or water and it could have been crushed.
An investigation by the police and RSPCA led to Jordan and Cole.
The hamster's head was peeping out of the envelope
Jordan told an RSPCA officer he had carried out the prank in revenge on a man with whom he had had an argument.
He said the pair had been "plastered" after attending a party.
Christina Metcalfe, mitigating for Jordan, said: "These two young men are clearly very intelligent and have made a very foolish and stupid error."
Hamish Ross, chairman of the bench, said the court believed the incident had been premeditated.
He said Cole could have prevented the prank but instead had let himself and his "college down".
In court, both men were also banned from keeping animals for the next 10 years and each ordered to pay £100 in court costs.
"What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" - Richard P. Feynman
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Mutare Drake
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Agh, that's terrible. Poor hamster.Corribus wrote:Reason 5,699,143,785 why alcohol and common sense do not mix.
Drunken students posted hamster
And those glue-sniffing monkeys are pretty weird, ha ha...did you know that if you feed a goat too many grapes, the grapes ferment in their stomach and they'll get drunk? (no one go trying this now please)
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HodgePodge
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Well I hope the judge considers mailing them to prison.HodgePodge wrote:sniff, sniff!poor hamster indeed. The poor little fellow's guardian angel must have been watching over him that day. Those stupid, insensitive guys got off easy. I hope the little rodent finds a good & loving home where he can chew up stuff to his heart's content.
"What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" - Richard P. Feynman
Speaking of judges...Corribus wrote:Well I hope the judge considers mailing them to prison.
Activists seek to seize US Judges home
In some countries, this would involve shady figures wearing balaclavas and wielding illegal firearms. But right now, in America, you can do it with a vote - and the judge in question only has himself to blame. Now that's what I call democracy
If any Americans reading this are now browning their pants at the risk of losing their own home, you're in good company:
China travellers in sanitary stew
China's rail network is overloaded as millions of people travel home in the run-up to The Year Of The Dog. Many travellers resort to incontinence pads rather than face the toilets - or the queue for them.
I'll never complain about British Rail again!
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Mutare Drake
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Hmm, not quite funny or bizarre news, just the headlines that spoke of them...these are "The Year's Best [Actual] Headlines of 2004":
- Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- Miners Refuse to Work After Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead
- Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- Miners Refuse to Work After Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead
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DaemianLucifer
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Mutare Drake
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I guess I've got a different sense of the bizarre. None of the earlier stories struck me as funny-ha-ha, and only the hamster posting felt sufficiently odd to be funny-weird.Mutare Drake wrote:Hmm, not quite funny or bizarre news, just the headlines that spoke of them...these are "The Year's Best [Actual] Headlines of 2004":
- Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
...
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead
But I do like your headlines
Probably "Stop the presses and let me go to bed!"Mutare Drake also wrote wrote: You wonder what the people who wrote these headlines were thinking (or not thinking) at the time.
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ThunderTitan
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You should see some of the news papers were i'm from. I swear, those people never learned proper grammar.Mutare Drake wrote:You wonder what the people who wrote these headlines were thinking (or not thinking) at the time. I bet the next day, once everyone got the newspapers, they had one of those "duh" moments. "something wrong" with a jet crash...you think?
Disclaimer: May contain sarcasm!
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I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life. - ???
"With ABC deleting dynamite gags from cartoons, do you find that your children are using explosives less frequently?" — Mark LoPresti
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