Unread postby Kalah » 14 Nov 2006, 00:47
Studio Commentary: "Welcome to this special edition. Why is it so special? Because we are going to try something that has never been done before: getting an interview with somebody who does not only not wish to be interviewed, but can't be interviewed. Several, in fact. Now you're probably thinking: "What the hell?" and you have a point. This doesn't make much sense. That is exactly the reason why this edition will be special. We are going to interview... wait for it... the spambots!"
Reporter: "Yes, this is a bit of a challenge. Not only do most of the spambots not post here, many of them simply post and then leave for good. Those who do hang around for a bit are usually human-controlled, but we're calling them bots anyway. The challenge, in case you haven't caught on to that yet, is to get any of them to say anything other than the usual spam. I personally don't think this will work any better than flying the Alps in a plane with no windows, but our new producer thinks so and so here I go. Ah, there's one now!"
GetYoursUpNow: "Anna Kournikova want you! Bad! Click here now!"
Reporter: "Excuse me! I wonder if I might have a... nope, it's gone. Let's see, anybody else...? Ah, yes, that looks suspiciously like one over there. Hey, you there!"
Avtolot2006: "Visit this homepage for free offers on Bahamas beach and real estate! Don't think about it, just do it! You know yo want to!"
Reporter: "Hey! Can I just..."
Admin: "Bot banned, post deleted. –beep– "
Reporter: "Aw, crap. I told you guys this thing wouldn't work! Oh, I'll try a couple more. Let's try a different tactic."
BuyViagraNow: "If you wanna make her scream with plesure clicky here."
Reporter: "Hey, how can I get some of that?"
BuyViagraNow: "Just click it."
Reporter: "Why are you doing this? Is there some form of feeling of pleasure generated from posting ads in forums that are usually restricted from advertising? Or is there money involved?"
BuyViagraNow: "Just click it."
Reporter: "I... don't really want to."
BuyViagraNow: "Are you makin her scream."
Reporter: "Damn right. I bet I got a bigger **** than you."
BuyViagraNow: "No, you don't."
Reporter: "How do you know?"
BuyViagraNow: "Just click it."
Reporter: "Nah, I can see the admin coming this way so I'll just scurry on before he decides to use the Armageddon spell."
ww.ringtones.la: "Trah, la, lalala – lalalaLA! Ding, ding, ding, ding, crazy froooog!"
Reporter: "AAAAH!"
Ñòðàõ0âùèê: "Yvonna Humpalot."
Reporter: "Say what!?
dfapoyrty567: "Free stock! There's still time! Don't miss out!"
Reporter: "Free stock of what? Enron? United Chicken-peelers Inc.?"
dfapoyrty567: "There's still time! Don't miss out!"
Reporter: "Heard you the first time. What would you say..."
Admin: "Diiie, spambot scum!! Rrghaaaaa!"
Reporter: "Do you mind? You're killing off all my interview objects."
Admin: "Relax, we're working on new measures to keep them all out. Then I won't have to. For now, though, it's the ol' flamethrower."
Reporter: "Sheesch, I'm gettin' outta here."
JsParadise: "Yeey, baby – come visit paradise. Click here."
Reporter: "Excuse me, I wonder if there's any chance I might get an interview?"
JsParadise: "Why don'tcha come by my dreamsexy site and do it there. Lots of other things to do too – to the sexy girls, and sexy boys..."
Reporter: "Whoa! Wrong bar, partner."
Admin: "Kiiiiill!"
Reporter: "Hey, Mr. Admin dude – I was wondering..."
Admin: "Y...e...e...e...s?"
Reporter: "Why are all these showing up in the Campfire, why not – like – the Heroes V forum?"
Admin: "We've got a special spam protective system on that one."
Reporter: "Really? Then why not use that in the Campfire as well?"
Admin: "Because the Campfire is nothing but spam. Nobody would be able to post."
Reporter: "Ah. Hey! Excuse me!"
Zerficher: "If you want to be BIG in showbusiness, click here!"
Reporter: "These are getting weirder and weirder..."
Poluroud20: "If you like regby like me, go to this site called advertiseontheinternet.com!"
Reporter: "Look – could you possibly be any louder? I don't they quite heard you in Brazil!"
Dfapoyrty567: "Click me! Click me! Click me! Click me! Click me!"
IncredibleIndia: "Holidays for free! Right here!"
Reporter: "Well, I'm sure you get the picture. Oh, techiiies! Told ya it wasn't possible. Five bucks!"
Studio Commentary: "That's it for this ever-so-special edition... Tune in again next time, when a Nival devloper tries to pick up chicks by saying: "Eyh, babe – am I glad to see you or did I just put a sword in my pocket?". "
