Quotes and Signatures

[Muszka]

I have a tic with quotes, so I made up this thread to collect some new ones and review the old ones...
I will also try to collect the signatures of RT members as long as they have nothing against it.

Signatures:
The Heroes Round Table:
"If people only knew how much fun it is blowing things up, they'd all want to be wizards" -- Zehir
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Veni, vidi, quichy! --Anonymous Bard
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My skull will stay right where it is, Veyer. Unlike yours, it actually has brains inside. --Agrael
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Turmoil, turbulence, treachery... The living are so hot-blooded, hmm? --Markal

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Milla aka. the Slayer:
Customer: "Is this movie for sale?"
Milla: "No, of course not. The price tag is just for fun "
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Kalah:
Hey...!! What are you doing?? Spit me out, so I can continue my dive...
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The name is Kanockers. Vod Kanockers.
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"I'm quite a compulsive person, but I'm also very indecisive;
I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now."
- Dylan Moran
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"Suure, brandnew plastoid-armour and EMB blasters, AT-STs, one AT-AT, and 74-Z speeder bikes boosted to insanity...
against a bunch of furballs with pointed sticks!"
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Richard: "James, we are grown men, playing conkers with caravans."
James: "That's all right; it's better than working in a bank."
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"No matter the available technology, everybody should just have some guys standing around, ready to push things for them."
- Mike Rowe
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"I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur I see a big light blur."
- Han Solo
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"Nude backgammon with swimsuit models!"
- Seinfeld
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It's coming soon, to a forum near you... the RotC!
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Drømmeanalyse: Du er på jobben uten bukser, brannalarmen går, plutselig er du på festival og prøver å bytte til deg en blowjob av Kelis mot en tallerken kyllingcurry, da kommer det en tiger og jager deg opp i et tre!
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Dream analysis: You're at work with no pants on, the fire alarm sounds, suddenly you're in a concert, trying to trade a blowjob from Kelis with a plate of chicked curry, and then a tiger comes and chases you up a tree!
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"I admire polar explorers, but I think the time has now come for us to say: Let's see how easily we can get to the top of Everest.
Let's see how easily we can get to the North Pole."
- Jeremy Clarkson
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"If I can't eat it, bang it or bet on it, it's not on my phone list."
- Charlie
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- Nightsinger... give me power!
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Hold on, 'cause the world will turn if you're ready or not!
- KT Tunstall
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You'd be amazed how much partying you can fit in between pirates, prison and armaggeddon.
- Julian Brennan
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Terrorist: "One turn of that key, and one million of your citizens will die instantly..."
Reporter: "What key?"
Terrorist: "That key... Who's taken the key!?"
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"If I wanted a lecture on the Rights of Man, I would have gone to bed with Martin Luther."
- Blackadder
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"This is a car program. There will be no cushions; there will be no rag-rolling. Noone will sing and by the end of the series noone will have a recording contract. This is our new base, and this is our purpose-built test track. There are no traffic jams here, and no bus lanes either. This... is Top Gear."
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"My horse had a broken leg, so I had to shoot it.
Now it's got a broken leg and a gunshot wound."
- Larry the Cable Guy
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"This week we have been looking at the African ant. Next week we'll be looking at how to avoid a hippo attack,
when you find yourself mistakenly between the hippo and the river."
- Ewan McGregor, 'The long way down'
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Pol:
New and original sayings, better with no one lying.
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"Uh, oh. And where we are now, Jenkins?"
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Semper ubi sub ubi.
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Playing with signatures:»Panda's Time«
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Beware the Librarians - they bites!
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Proud parrot's power owner.
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See power of my Hmm. Be astonished in disbelief!
I can create a stars with it and truncate the truth.
~F.H. the Noteworthy
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No mercy!
~Baba Yaga
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The perfect suit is lawsuit.
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IT Soup.
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No, no, no. Has nothing to do with Poland, I never was owner of this land
and I'm not reclaiming it back. Now are you sitting much comfortable, ain't it?
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If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck,
we have at least to consider the possibility
that we have a small aquatic bird
of the family anatidae on our hands.
--Douglas Adams
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"You might say: why on earth are you doing this? I am never going to take my car up a mountain. Well, this watch can go down to 300 feet, and I'm never going to go there. Still, it's nice to know it's OK when I drop it in the sink."
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asandir
Human madness is the howl of a child with a shattered heart.

Check out the Heroes 3 Auction!
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Vlad976
Grif: But what about all the confusing multiple standards?
Sarge: Grif, you know I'm a firm believer in double standards. Especially when they cause you pain and suffering!
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Ethric
I feel the need... the need for expeditious velocity! -Brain
WOOOOAAAAAAAAH!!! -Pinky
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And believe me, if my hands were not tied by the unalterable fetters of the law, a law which has become in my view far too permissive and inadequate in it's standards of punishment, I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forebearers, reach back to a sterner, purer justice and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE!
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+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
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darknessfood
Don't hate me bacause i'm beautiful, hate me for stealing your nacho's...
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Yeah, my signature is AWESOME!!!
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I'm not fat, i just have a boner...
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Women are weird machines, call me engineer...
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One thing is for sure, no one is perfect, not even ME...
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If you turn your hobby into your job, what to do in your free time?
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Zamolxis
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former" - Albert Einstein
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Infiltrator
Infiltrator out.
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Veldrynus
Veldryn 1:1 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a hot woman without to lust after her is gay.
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Jolly Joker
"I've got PLENTY of common sense! - I just chose to ignore it."
- Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes)
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"War is Peace."
"Freedom is Slavery."
"Ignorance is Strength."
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Victory shall come to the worthy. Today, democracy, liberty, and equality are words to fool the people. No nation can progress with such ideas. They stand in the way of action. Therefore, we frankly abolish them.
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Germany will win the European Soccer Championship!
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ZZZzzzz....
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ThunderTitan
Disclaimer: May contain sarcasm!
"Orkses is never beaten in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die so it don't count as defeat. If we runs for it we don't die neither, so we can always cum back for anuvver go, see!" * Ork view of warfare, Warhammer 40k
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"With ABC deleting dynamite gags from cartoons, do you find that your children are using explosives less frequently?"
-- Mark LoPresti
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"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist due to the irresponsibility of its own people. The issues are much too important for the Chilean voters to be left to decide for themselves." — Henry Kissinger
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Corribus
Arzang:
maybe it's just a videogame, just like sex is just sex, but sometimes it means something more. especially if you love the girl...
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"What men are poets who can speak of Jupiter if he were like a man, but if he is an immense spinning sphere of methane and ammonia must be silent?" - Richard P. Feynman
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winterfate
The Round Table's birthday list!
Proud host of Caladont 2.0!
You need to take the pain, learn from it and get back on that bike... - stefan
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Elvin
No sideways floors will stop the Lord of Hellfire!
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Panda Tar
Tut-tut-tut - whoohooo! Trance, trance! Tut-tut!
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Oh, I see it! Oh, now I don't...I see it! O-ah, nope.
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Imagine you're reading something funny. Yes? Then, that's my signature.
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How can you give the ones you love your hand if they don't want to hold it? Would you let them die rather than helping them in your way? I'm not the best of the sons.
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Looking for a maid.
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If there are pigeons flying above you, DO NOT look up. If there was an elephant walking where you are, DO look down.
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...about to turn on a page.
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Sir William S Titan
You have your fungus. I'll have something else.
Hypertext d20 and DnD Wiki
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Anti-fungify the world!
Hypertext d20 and DnD Wiki
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Good advice; the middle of it, at least.
The 10th Kingdom:
"Don't drink the water, don't eat the mushrooms and whatever you do, don't fall asleep."
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Metathron
We all float...
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The secret's in the sauce...
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HodgePodge
HodgePodge: Protectress of Baby Dragons & Muse of the Prismatic Obelisk.
Round Table Olympics 2007, Contest XII … Goalkeeper & Captain of the Unbridled Unicorns.
HoMM3 Auction: Surcoat of Counterpoise, Clover of Fortune, Pendant of Free Will, Pendant of Life, Pendant of Total Recall,
Orb of the Firmament
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HodgePodge: Protectress of Baby Dragons & Muse of the Prismatic Obelisk.
Round Table Olympics 2007, Contest XII
Play Travians
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theLuckyDragon
"Not all those who wander are lost." -- JRRT
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Tensho
Dont angry the banana!
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ScarlettP
******************************************

"Every paradox can be paradoctored." -- Robert A. Heinlein
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jeff
Mala Ipsa Nova
There are not too many Dragons in Heroes V, there are too many humans.
Eliminate the food and the predators will go away.
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Orfinn
"Explore in search for the unexplorable"
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"Our future lies outside our planet either we ruin our world or not. Its surface WILL be crowded!"
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PhoenixReborn
"In art's sweet light we're guided trough the night"
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Good joke:

Exactly . Might over Electronic.

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Time's a wastin'.
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I like embedding my words in other people's minds.
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I withdraw
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ByteBandit
Never mind the noise in the background. I'm just sharpening my blade.
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"Fun? What would you know about fun, Woodrow? You like money less than you like fun, if that's possible!" Augustus McCrae
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"Oh, I had a job waiting tables once on a riverboat. But I had to give it up. I was young and pretty, and the girls, they would'nt leave me alone." Augustus McCrae
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The Rise and Fall of Sandro
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Vlaad II
Cartographer - maps and mapmaking
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Akul
Spring is coming! YAAAY!!
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Jaime Lannister says: "Summer is coming!"
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I am back and ready to... ready to... post things.
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Humakt
Thundermaps
"Death must be impartial. I must sever my ties, lest I shield my kin."
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Kristo
It's not that I don't believe you. It's just that...I don't believe you.
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Carolyn: Uh, whose car is that out front?
Lester: Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!
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NyQuil: If you wake up, it will be the best sleep you've ever had.
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You want a FLYING CAR?!? I already don't trust you driving in two dimensions. What makes you think I'm going to let you use all three?
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Corlagon
May all who read my words know what it is like to be your own person, to make your own decisions. And may you have the strength of will to find peace as well, but at a much lesser cost.

- Solmyr ibn Wali Barad
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"It seems so, he replied, a smile appearing on the corner of his mouth on the living side of his face. Would you mind telling me... Why did you go to such lengths?"

I laughed. "Because that is exactly what we Kreegans do. We are warriors and conquerors. Only a fool would believe we can be trusted."

- Malustar Kreegan
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It came in a vision - a man appeared on a Flaming Pie and said unto them 'From this day on you are Beatles with an A'.
'Thank you, Mister Man,' they said.
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Mytical
Warning, may cause confusion, blindness, raising of eybrows, and insanity.
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Ceres
Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison!
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Aluwa
Oh Lord, Oh Holy Fire, Have Mercy!

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I'll Slaughter You, Every danm last one of You!
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Caradoc
Ev'rybody's doin' somethin', I heard it in a dream.
But when there's too much of nothing, it just makes a fella mean. - Bob Dylan
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Before you criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. If they get mad, you'll be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes.
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gravyluvr
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
14 Potatos, RTK, Captain of the Gravyluvn CheesePotatoes, Holder of the Silver Ladel... 1.11.07 8.21.07
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vhilhu

“In Communist Cuba, we eliminate hunger. In Soviet Russia, hunger eliminates YOU!!”

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Marzhin
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Might and Magic, baby !
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howgrizzly
"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you."
Friedrich Nietzsche

"How long can any man fight the darkness before he finds it in himself." - Sounds familiar?
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Labyrinth
What the #$*! do we know?
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BAD23ro
Archangel
=======
Angels are not persons, they are spirit beings. They take "bodily-form" while visiting man.
They have no weight, no mass, can move at a great speed and are immortals.
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Gaidal Cain
Fä dö, fränder dö // Själv dör du likaledes
Ett vet jag som aldrig dör // Domen över död man
-Havamal
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a55a55in
Sit upon the Frozen Heavens...

Round Table Olympics '07
Play Travians
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Omega_Destroyer
And the chickens. Those damn chickens.
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Sir Charles
Calvin: "Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
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Dracomancer
I maintain nonetheless that yin-yang dualism can be overcome. With sufficient enlightenment we can give substance to any distinction: mind without body, north without south, pleasure without pain. Remember, enlightenment is a function of willpower, not of physical strength.
Chairman Sheng-ji Yang, "Essays on Mind and Matter"
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DaemianLucifer
Creatures evolve
The most popular confusion
10k posts and counting
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rdeford
rdeford, Mage Of Soquim

“Forgiving and being forgiven, loving and being loved,
living and letting live, is the simple basis for it all."

Ernest Holmes 1984
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infael
Dell XPS 400, 2 Gb RAM
-XP Pro SP2, Leadtek GeForce 8800GTX
-King's Bounty, M&M 1-9, HOMM 1-5
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Kareeah Indaga

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Thelonious
Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm?
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In doubt, always choose the left hand side, unless the right hand side is better...
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CloudRiderX
Get ready to Brawl - February 13th, 2007
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Can't wait for D3.

Blizzcon '08. Be there.
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Meandor
...
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Bandobras Took
Far too many people speak their minds without first verifying the quality of their source material.
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theGryphon
I believe in science and that science can explain everything.
Because God has made it all work in such a beautiful way...
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Yurian Stonebow
Don't worry if things are going badly today. They will be much worse tomorrow.
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evilp
Mother Earth, hold fast his body, Father Sky, welcome his spirit. We mourn to understand, questions for child`s soul.
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soupnazzi
I look at the world and I notice it's turning

While my guitar gently weeps

With every mistake we must surely be learning

Still my guitar gently weeps
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Lepastur
Visita http://www.HeroesofMightandMagic.es (Portal) y http://www.TorreDeMarfil.org/foro/ (Foro) / El sitio web en español más completo dedicado a la saga Heroes of Might and Magic, y a los otros juegos de la misma marca.
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Dean92
Rofl, Pwned Ur ***:P!
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vulnevia
Don't fear The ketchup Knee!
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Banedon
Glory surged through her and radiance surrounded her. All things are possible with the blessings of the Divine.
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Alucard
In the name of god impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen
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I lost my virginity. Can I have yours.
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Life is like Roses in Winter. Only the Strong Survive.
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Chai26
Voodoo Child
Some say, he/she sucks the moisture out of ducks.
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pacobac
http://www.archangelcastle.com/h4/ligue/
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BTOG46
Official Whisky taster and Herald to the Mighty Alderbranch
Maximum-Gamers.com Administrator "The clues are out there.....S.N.A.F.U."
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Dalai
"Once a knight, always a knight, but once a King is once too often!" (c) Sir Bella of Eastmarch
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Corelanis
so your point about this being pointless is also pointless!-HodgePodge
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Grumpy Old Wizard
The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.” ****** "We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free." RONALD REAGAN
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Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!~~~Patrick Henry
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Frodo: "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
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Psychobabble
Map Picks
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Paladin
A cat is fine too...
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GrayFace
(I'm also known as sergroj)
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KonserniJohtaja
This message was brought to you by KonserniJohtaja!
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klaymen
Kill a man, and you're a murderer.
Kill 'em many and you're a conqueror.
Kill 'em all and you're a GOD!!
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"Mess with the best, die like the rest."
8th Cadian regiment, Imperial Guard
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Derek
Hell has frozen over...
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jeff4815
And there was much rejoicing...

"You want a piece of me?!"

"Oh yeah!?"
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And there was much rejoicing...

"You want a piece of me?!"

Ithilgore trying to Identify a Dragon: "Haven't seen one before..."
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Ohma
Free IO!!
Cheng I Sao r0xx0rz my 50xx0rz!!
Glory to the Many!
"Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master." -Pravin Lal
We're *ALL* Devo!
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Deadguy118
My favorite M&M game is VII. My favorite heroes game is III (not enough time with V) Any Questions?
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Suleman
"Yes, but what about David Beckham and the magic mushroom?"

I'm baaaaaack!
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Dread Knight
Enjoy playing Heroes 3 Complete and like Cars
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Mithras
It's only Rock 'n Roll (but I like it)
Proud bearer of the caladont-nerd plaque
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igoraki
"You cannot make a baby in a month with nine women."
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Zombie_Inc
"Patching Eternal!"
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Lady Farquad
Morior, ergo sum
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Dagoth
Yea...
tadaaaaa!
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Bursuc
To live is to enjoy, to love others, to help, to be independent and free, to think deeply, to appreciate all the things we have been given, to know that we are not here to possess anything but to give back the respect for our gifts.
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Asheera
No matter how powerful one becomes, there is always someone stronger. That's why I'm in a constant pursuit of power, so I can be prepared when an enemy tries to take advantage of me.
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Hambone
Maxim Vickers -- Vizier -- The Kingdom: The Art of HOMM:K Warfare[url]

"The adding features part depends on the end of the patch plan." -- [url=http://www.maps4heroes.com/heroes5/faq_H5_HoF_TotE_eng.php]Fabrice Cambounet
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Ximi
Karhupumppu
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Pyre
"Sacrifices are always required in the name of glorious pursuits!" - Queen Ashara
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Lord Lakely
-"Hades! Glad you could make it. How are things going in the Underworld?"
-"Well, They're just fine: a bit dark, a bit gloomy and there's always -hey- FULL of DEAD PEOPLE. What you gonna say? "
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Don't poke Lakely. That's highly unsociable

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"Don't poke Lakely. That's highly unsociable"

-His Lordship
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blacktrance
"If you ask me to name the proudest distinction of Americans, I would choose - because it contains all the others - the fact that they were the people who created the phrase 'to make money'." - Ayn Rand
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Black Ghost
"Set your enemies on fire, light a camfpfire, or roast a duck. It's an all purpose spell!"
- Firebolt (Chaos spell, level 2)
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BenchBreaker
I used to be indecisive, now I am not so sure...
winner of the the worst riddle ever
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BrennusWhiskey
vae victis
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Robenhagen
I was lookin’ back to see if you were lookin’ back at me to see me lookin’ back at you.
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Derek
Hell has frozen over...
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Angelspit
Fight Me! (in French, but you'll figure it out)
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MagusofStars
Go Buckeyes, Indians, Cavs and Browns
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Monte Cristo
The truth is out there
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Wildbear
Spiritu Insanum
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lpatenaude
Earth is a large world.
So does our egos and opinions onto everything.
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Old_Man
Once an Old Man, always an Old Man.
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[Milla aka. the Slayer]

Just don't turn it into a spam thread ok?

[Kalah]

Amateur. I'm way ahead of you, having filled up a text file with such things... Here's a taste:

Leo: "My generation never got the future it was promised... 35 years later cars; air travel is exactly the same. We don't even have the Concorde anymore. Technology stopped."
Josh: "The personal computer..."
Leo: "A more efficient delivery system for gossip and pornography? Where's my jet pack?"

Josh: "Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the 1.6 of you who are stoned right now, that it's time to share. "

Lou: "Hey Josh, the congressman's briefcase, what's inside there?"
Josh: "Road stuff...toothbrush, electric razor, sometimes a wallet. Why?"
Lou: "We seem to have lost it, and he seems kinda worried."
Josh: "The guy's running a tie for the presidency and he's got two weeks left, so you can expect him to look worried once in a while."
Lou: "So there's nothing... bad in there."
Josh: "Like?"
Lou: "I don't know! Heroin, porn..."
Josh: "No, that's all mine."

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Adam: "I'm noticing a distinct lack of explosion".
Jamie: "Jamie wants big boom".
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"Funny hearing a Fyarl demon say 'serviceable'. Had a couple of them working for me once.
They're more like: 'Like to crush. Crush now?'"
- Spike
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"No, no, I would not kill the Jews. I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death!"
- Achmed the dead terrorist
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"One thing I've learned in my many years of celebrity travel, being busy all the time: If you pass a bathroom, use it."
- King Harald V of Norway
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"If I wanted a lecture on the Rights of Man, I would have gone to bed with Martin Luther."
- Blackadder
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Simon: "What the hell is a prat?"
Lucy: "A git. A plonker."
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"I'm quite a compulsive person, but I'm also very indecisive; I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now."
- Dylan Moran

"Doesn't work for me, fruit. It's just God showing off: "Look at all the colours I know". "
- Dylan Moran

[Pol]

Just don't turn it into a spam thread ok?

That's impossible we had one with funny sayings, quotes and so one on old RT and it was certainly heavy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
New and original sayings, better with no one lying.

[Pol]

This is a short excerpt from it:

Speed is life, life is speed.
Speed is essence of life.
Faster, faster.
-- Sir Mullich

If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through.
--Kalah the Great Summoner
Gaming is for kids? Think again...
--Underdogs

All people talk about the real life, but where can I download it?
--Doli

The thing is that Mr. Dibbler can even sell sausages to people who have bought them off him before.
--T. Pratchett

Those who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
-- Anon

My aunt has a very smart dog. When she shouts "Come here or not!" he comes... or not.

Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students.
-- Jean de la Bruyere

Stwike him, centuwion, stwike him vewy woughly!
-- Kalah The Great Summoner

"Maybe you'll feel less like fighting after I rip your head off!"

Lose it. It means, Go crazy. Nuts. Insane. Bonzo. No longer in possession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a Happy Meal. WACKO!
--Gen. Jack O'Neill, Stargate SG-1 (Vlad976)

*Slightly* corrupted filesystem? Isn't that like being *a little* pregnant? :-)"
-- M. Edward (Ed) Borasky in LKML

"Well, you see," the hobbit explained with difficulty, "Roland the Ram is a wicked knight from a faraway land. He and his most terrible servants are attempting to enslave all the hobbits around here and make them work in mines and quarries."
"But why?"
"WhyHe's a rotten scoundrel! He doesn't need a motive!"

Hiroshima 45... Chernobil 86... Windows 95... more to come.

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.
--Harlan Ellison
--Charles Watkins (Caradoc)

HELP!!! Lost my broadsword, lenght approx. 70", weight 96 pounds, black blade with long barbs.
Need it for next invasion. Will pay 28 human skulls to the honest finder.
Call 0666-SLAUGHTER
--Robenhagen

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce
--Corribus

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
--Robert Frost

If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
--Buffy

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

I HAVE THE BODY OF A GOD! ........ too bad it's Buddha.

"If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." -- Bobcat Goldthwait

"I'm like the wind: untamed, unpredictable, unstoppable,... and I just love to pull up girl's skirts!!!"

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Teacher: That's one of the great things about being up here-- you can torture people with your personal miseries!

I refuse to not accept the award I didn't receive!

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance."

"He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." - Socrates (That's so true.)

"Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth." ~Ludwig Börne

(Some of these are from the old RT thread, mostly significant here were Lord Hoborg XIV, M.C., Corribus, Charles Watkins (Caradoc), Vlad976 and Daemian Lucifer)

"You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough." ~William Blake, Proverbs of Hell

"The obstacle is the path." ~Zen Proverb

Per aspera ad astra.

Quos custodies ipsos custodes

"A stumble may prevent a fall." ~English Proverb

Phebe: It's our anniversary!
Rachel: Oh, is the anniversary for your first date, first kiss, first time you had sex?
Phebe: Um, yeah.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.. that way if they get mad, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes."

"To fuss is human. To rant, divine!"
--Lord Hoborg XIV. The Clone Trooper

"Ever seen this before? It's called 'civilisation': very ancient, and very wicked." -Subotai,
--Conan the Barbarian

"If an enemy presents two choices, shoot at a third"

Charm Seller: "Buy this trinket, it'll protect you from evil."
Conan: "I AM evil!"

Conan: "You're no guard!"
Valeria: "Neither are you!"

"Don't tell me the odds!" -Han Solo


(The devil appears in a flash of light)
El Cid: "What the devil is that?"

(A man is passing the Canadian border)
Security: "Do you have any weapons?"
Man: "Sure, which do you want?

(Picks up a sword with magic runes)
"Why, it's all scratched up! Give me another!"

(A man is passing the Canadian border)
Security: "Do you have any weapons?"
Man: "Sure, which do you want?"

Jack O'Neill: So what's your impression of Alar?
Teal'c: That he is concealing something.
Jack O'Neill: Like what?
Teal'c: I am unsure - he is concealing it.
--Star Gate

Sam Carter: Coronal mass emissions - I was just about to bring it up.
Jack O'Neill: There you go, how would I know that?
Sam Carter: Maybe you read my report.
Daniel: Maybe he *read* your report?
--Star Gate

Colonel Harry Maybourne: Teal'c. It's good to see you well.
Teal'c: In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you.

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."
--Corribus (Pervertedly Funny)

"Hello, I'd like to have an argument please" Monty Python

Fonzie: "My new girlfriend is a virgin."
Richie: "How do you know?"
Fonzie: "She told me."
Richie: "How do you know she's telling the truth?"
Fonzie: "Virgins don't lie!"

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world.
There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
-- Terry Pratchett (from Ethric)

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." - Barry LePatner

"I am certain of it, but I may be wrong."
"I have become more optimistic and now believe that things could get worse."

(Lo Pan quote is where?)
Here
That’s a good news. In my condition I can receive any other.

"How do you expect me to ignore you when you're never around?"

"I am not contradicting you."

"When I want your opinion, I'll tell you what to say."

"Don't give up hope. There's a chance the inevitable won't happen."

" He knew everything, but that's all."

" I remember exactly when I forgot it."

"To distinguish the real from the unreal one must experience both."

"Reality is an illusion."

"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work." -- Gallager

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." - Steven Wright

"Some days you are the dog, other days you are the tree."

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Mumble, and they think you're an idiot."

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
-Abraham Lincoln

"Be happy for what you've learned in life and hold on to the special moments... however insignificant they seem."

"Sometimes life beats you down, but you have to get up and come back running."

"Look before you leap."

"Holding grudges is useless."

"It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice."

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Working hard or hardly working?"

"Your eyes shine with the greed of a misplaced tea strainer."

"I love your eyes, but only with ketchup."

"You move with the eloquence of a fiery wall of disintegrating fuselage."

"Oh! How you inflict me with wounds of paranoia and desire."

"Man who bounce woman on bedspring this spring have offspring next spring."

Can't remember where I got that one....

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."

"If you can't beat 'em... Nuke 'em..."

"Try, try, and try again... and if you still can't do it... cheat!"

"Better to remain silent and be thought stupid than to speak and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

"Fate is just what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over." - Malcolm in the Middle

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!"

"No point being pessimistic... it wouldn't work anyways."

"Pay no attention to the man behind the elepant." - Chris Weaver

"when i was just a little girl i asked my mother what will i be will i be pretty will i be rich heres what she said to me ...... YOUR A BOY" - some dude which I'm happy to say that I never met

Merovingian: "French is the best language to swear in."
[stream of curses]
Merovingian: "It's like wiping your ass with silk."

Commander Lock: "Not everyone believes what you do Morpheus."
Morpheus: "My beliefs do not require them to."

Tank: "So what do you need? Besides a miracle."
Neo: "Guns. Lots of guns."

Oracle: "You're cuter than I thought. I can see why she likes you."
Neo: "Who?"
Oracle: "Not too bright, though."

All your base are belong to us.

Carter: You didn't think the Colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbors, did you?
O'Neill: Not initially.

O'Neill: Well, I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound... Nothing comes to mind.

Bra'tac: Now we die.
O'Neill: Well, that's a bad plan.

O'Neill: General, without meaning, this time, to sound like a smartass, are you cracked?

O'Neill: It's "O'Neill," with two L's. There's another Colonel O'Neil with only one L, and he has no sense of humor at all.

Maybourne: Striking an officer is a quick way to a court martial.
O'Neill: I'm not gonna hit you, Maybourne. I'm gonna shoot you.

O'Neill: How do I know you're really Daniel?
Jackson: Because.....
O'Neill: Yeah, okay.

O'Neill: We came here in peace, and we expect to go in one... piece.

On je lud!Pije Bi-Vodu!
--DaemianLucifer
(That’s adver: He is crowd. He drinks Bi-Water. As you see translated is not so hitting.)

O'Neill: Well, it's hard to say.
Thornbird: Some sort of state secret?
O'Neill: No, just difficult to pronounce
O'Neill: I'd like to apologize in advance for anything I may say or do that could be construed as offensive as I slowly go nuts!
Teal'c: Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?
O'Neill: Oh, yeah, yeah... Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.

Anise: Your strength is five times that of a normal human.
O'Neill: So, no increase then, huh?

O'Neill: The loons! Don't forget the loons!
Baal: Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence?
O'Neill: I don't know the meaning of the word. pause Seriously, "impudence," what does that mean?
Jack O'Neill: "Au revoir"... it's French for "ciao".

He stared in blissful deafness at the group for several minutes until a general cessation of the moment suggested, that whatever they had been perpetrating had been committed. ---Soul Music p282 T.P.

When in charge ponder. When in trouble delegate. When in doubt mumble.

"The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."

"Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

What we have here is a dynamic 2D projection of a 3D model.
--Charles Watkins (Caradoc)

Someone's always got to be a smart ass.
--ScarlettP

...Hint: Say - yes. Note: 'all uh,oh will be treated like yes too.

I liked most the one about the lost sword. Thousands of them are missing... (cause I'm not skull collector.)

[Muszka]

Just don't turn it into a spam thread ok?

I hope it won't... So I won't post here either if possible, or just when I have a new quote, so here is one:

Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.

[Muszka]

Time & Space are real beings
A man and a women
Time is the man and Space is the Women

[asandir]

I like my quote .... it has meaning, but it's not funny ....

so:

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

[Muszka]

One I like:

Nothing is easier than denouncing the evildoer. Nothing more difficult than understanding him.

P.S.:

I like my quote .... it has meaning, but it's not funny ....

I didn't made this for fun. I like it too, that's why I think some signatures shouldn't be forgotten.

[Muszka]

Here's one from the Life of Brian

Mandy: Your father was a Roman.
Brian: You mean... you were RAPED?!
Mandy: Well... at first, yes.

[Kalah]

Here's a better one; in fact the line awarded "Best Ever Movie Line":

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

[Muszka]

You'll burn in hell if you're a believer.
otherwise:
Let's see another:

Brian: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Mandy: Stop thinking about sex!
Brian: I wasn't!
Mandy: You're always on about it. Morning, noon, and night. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?"

[Muszka]

Found this:

When you're young, you look at television and think, "There's a conspiracy. The networks have conspired to dumb us down." But when you get a little older, you realize that's not true. The networks are in business to give people exactly what they want. That's a far more depressing thought. Conspiracy is optimistic! You can shoot the bastards! We can have a revolution! But the networks are really in business to give people what they want. It's the truth.

and remembered another:

Truth told with evil intent remembered all the lies you can invent

[Muszka]

Got this after taking one of the tests linked by SWST on "Quizzies".

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall

[Ethric]

Garibaldi: "No boom?"
Sinclair: "No boom."
Ivanova: "No boom today, boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow.
...
"What?! Look, somebody's got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom. Sooner or later: BOOM!"

[gravyluvr]

I still like to go back to my original sig every once in a while...

"If I were a flower, I'd be a really big flame-throwing flower with five heads."

[Metathron]

Garibaldi: "No boom?"
Sinclair: "No boom."
Ivanova: "No boom today, boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow.
...
"What?! Look, somebody's got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom. Sooner or later: BOOM!"

Awww, B5...now you got me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside...makes me want to watch the series all over...in fact I might just do that.

[Kalah]

Ethric has already started. I'll put it off until I'm finished with my studies.

[Metathron]

You and your studies. Don't know where your priorities lie. Anyhow, I guess I'll catch you guys in the TV shows thread where we can take a walk down memory lane...

[Kalah]

I'm just afraid it might be another "The West Wing" thing... once I started viewing the whole thing, I couldn't stop, and I didn't get any work done for weeks...