Unread postby Kalah » 15 May 2006, 01:25
Yes.
Anchor: "Smoke on the water, fire in the sky. Today our guest is a man on fire – the Archdevil from Heroes five. Welcome."
Archdevil: "Thankyou, thankyou, glad to be here."
Anchor: "I'll start things off right away, because we have lots of questions and very little time..."
Archdevil: "Gimme just a little more tiiiime!"
Anchor: "Makeup! Fix my hair! Put it out!"
Archdevil: "Sorry, some times I breathe a bit of fire when I sing."
Anchor: "So I noticed. Ooh, OK, question: in the previous instalment of the Heroes series, the Devil could teleport all across the battlefield, which in turn was much larger than the one you frequent."
Archdevil: "Gets a bit overpowered, doesn't it."
Anchor: "Yes, many have complained about the fact that a level 4 creature can jump to the other end of the battlefield even in a castle siege, whereas your teleport ability gives you no extra movement whatsoever. What are your thoughts on this?"
Archdevil: "Like I said, the ability for a big guy like me to jump all the way up to the other guys is a bit overpowered. Still, I think stripping me of the ability to gain any extra movement is going about it the wrong way."
Anchor: "But the battlefield is smaller, and there are many large creatures in the game, taking up four squares. Doesn't the teleport ability give you that extra edge of not being blocked by these creatures?"
Archdevil: "Well, yeah, but if there's no room for me to appear in after teleporting, the ability doesn't work for me at all, and with today's small battlefield, along with the fact that it's mostly melee combat we see in these battles, the whole thing just gets superfluous. I mean, it's melee I do, it's what I'm good at – and then, once I've gotten myself into a my favourite situation with creatures all around me, I am supposed to stay there and take it without being able to go anywhere?"
Anchor: "A bit frustrating, I suppose."
Archdevil: "Damned frustrating, so to speak."
Anchor: "Yes, that was my next question – you're probably overjoyed that Inferno is back."
Archdevil: "Yeah, baby. Now I don't have to mingle with those puny skeletons. And, man, between you and me – them vampire guys are giving me the creeps."
Anchor: "I was wondering what the general mood is in the newly re-established Inferno community. What is going on 'down under'?"
Archdevil: "Yeah, like you say, we're delighted to be back in our purest form. No more of that undead garbage, just pure Hell."
Anchor: "What did you do when you got the message?"
Archdevil: "Had a party, of course. Drank lots of blood/fire drinks on the house, lit up a few captured creatures and then we talked about things to come. We're really looking forward to our comeback."
Anchor: "Anything in particular you're not too anxious to..."
Archdevil: "Well, now that you mention it, I think those Sylvan shooters are tearing down the house. I mean, they can stand far away, picking us off one by one and we don't even have teleport to counter it. Before we can get close enough to take them on hand-to-hand, we're... well, dead. A confusion or forgetfulness spell would certainly be nice."
Anchor: "A question from a somewhat critical viewer..."
Archdevil: "Bring it on."
Anchor: "You're all on fire, you Inferno creatures – and that's not meant in a good way. Is it really considered an upgrade in the Inferno community to have a bit of fire licking ones insides?"
Archdevil: "I guess what the viewer is trying to say is that he would like something more than a touch-up on the stats and a better look for an upgraded creature compared to a base creature. I gotta say, I'm with you there, but there is more to it, you see."
Anchor: "There is?"
Archdevil: "Yes, take me – for instance – I'm an Arch devil. Now, to the untrained eye, the change may not be big, but I have several things the Devil doesn't."
Anchor: "Like?"
Archdevil: "Like my own bathroom. And there's also an Archdevils own polo club."
Anchor: "No Devils there, then."
Archdevil: "Hell, no. There was this guy who tried to get in to our country club once – he got past security by hiding a blowtorch in his robe and setting himself alight once he got to the door. But then he was exposed in the sauna."
Anchor: "Another question: are you satisfied with your new weapon?"
Archdevil: "Oh, yes, a major upgrade. Instead of using our claws as the Heroes four devil, we've got a huge axe to wield and show off to everyone who doesn't believe we can fight."
Anchor: "Like the angel?"
Archdevil: "Yeah, that flimsy sissy got a run for his money once he got close enough for me to hit him, lemme tell you."
Anchor: "He/she."
Archdevil: "Hm?"
Anchor: "Angels are asexual."
Archdevil: "They're sissies."
Anchor: "And they've got weapons bigger than yours."
Archdevil: "That's the blacksmith's fault! I told that guy over at the Russian place we wanted the biggest thing in the game. What'd we get? An axe we can split lots of wood with, when it's angel heads we want to cut off!
Anchor: "So you're a bit jealous of their very large piece of steel?"
Archdevil: "You're not getting me into that one."
Anchor: "OK, how about answering me what is your favourite flower."
Archdevil: "Nope."
Anchor: "Favourite country ballad?"
Archdevil: "mmmnope."
Anchor: "Fave soap opera?"
Archdevil: "I don't watch those, man!"
Anchor: "Sorry."
Archdevil: "Sheeez!"
Anchor: "Viewer question."
Archdevil: "Yeah, anyway there's nothing fun on after 'Falcon Crest' got cancelled."
Anchor: "Really?"
Archdevil: "Next, please."
Anchor: "Nono, let's stay with this for a moment...
Archdevil: "I'm calling my imp."
Anchor: "Why, what can he do?"
Archdevil: "Nick your microphone and poke you with it."
Anchor: "Is that what they do?"
Archdevil: "It really gets to you after an hour or so."
Anchor: "When I played the Demo, I thought they packed a real punch."
Archdevil: "Compared to..."
Anchor: "Well, the H4 imp, for one."
Archdevil: "Yeah, you're right there."
Anchor: "Do you like cake?"
Archdevil: "Cake!?"
Anchor: "...yeah?"
Archdevil: "Whatever gave you that idea? I'm on fire – I'm the creature symbolizing the eternal torment of lost souls and the infernal state of the city that burns forever in a fire that..."
Anchor: "Yeah, but you look a bit like a goat and I was wondering if you like cake."
Archdevil: "Anything else you wanna say before I hack you up into little pieces and feed you into the furnace?"
Anchor: "One last thing: which do you hate more, the angels or the priests?"
Archdevil: "Hmmm… tough one. The Choir are my sworn enemies, and the priests are their servants who mindlessly carry out their wishes. It'll be the angels, as before, since it be they who give the orders and the priests who carry them out."
Anchor: "OK, I'm done."
Archdevil: "Would you like to see the inside of my personal chamber of torture?"
Anchor: "Ooh, sounds nice. Got any cookies?"
Archdevil: "... I'll see what I can do."
In War: Resolution, In Defeat: Defiance, In Victory: Magnanimity, In Peace: Goodwill.
Eeeew...just the thought of it...
