Random thoughts

[Elvin]

I absolutely hate these kind of situations...They do not stop, they do not tire and you can do nothing while they eat away your last remains of sanity The bad part is when they have come to visit you.
Normally I am a very calm and easy person but I just don't have the patience for this.

[ScarlettP]

I'm a "Pop the kid on the butt" when they are little and you don't have to worry about them later kind of mom. The problem is that many people don't understand the difference between swatting a toddler on the padded-diapered bottom to 'get their attention' as my mom used to say - and beating the heck out of an 8 year old with a belt or worse. I only 'spanked' my son about 4 or 5 times in his life. As in struck his back side more than once. I never, EVER left a mark on my child and I can't rememer him even crying about it. By the time he was 5 and could jolly well understand the words "Don't do that" or "Go to your room" - he didn't NEED to be physically 'corrected' anymore. (Actually, I think we started "Go to your room" by the time he was 2 or 3.) But children need to have verbal skills before anything aside from a physical pain (or more the starteling sound of mom's hand on plastic pants) will work.


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And if you wait until the child is passed school age to START trying to 'beat some sence into them' - you've waited to late. It will never work.

[Elvin]

I agree. There must be a way to discipline them while they are young, if you play soft they'll never hear you. You can see all around you how children are or what they grow to be if parents let them have their way. And while I do not believe that violence is the answer a few slaps are needed.

[ThunderTitan]

"Sure mom, i won't be crossing the street" - said right before going half way across town on our bikes. And yes, i was "disciplined" as a youth... made me so much better at hiding what i did.

[[T]osHiro]

I only 'spanked' my son about 4 or 5 times in his life. As in struck his back side more than once. I never, EVER left a mark on my child and I can't rememer him even crying about it..

He must be REALLY embarrased when you mention this?

"Awww, mom.. How can you post this on the internet for everyone to see???"

[ScarlettP]

Actually, he doesn't care. None of you people know him, nor will you ever meet my son. Sad, because he's an exceptional youth.

When he was about 13 or 14 and saw a few episodes of "Super Nanny" to see how dreadful children can be when they are not properly disaplined and loved (that means mom pays attention to them when they are being good - not just when they are bouncing off the walls) my son ACTUALLY came up and gave me a big hug and said "Thank you for beating me when I was little." We both knew that he was teasing about the fact that I never let him act like a wild animal at home OR in public. My son was the one who would go to school and come home TOTALLY shocked at the dreadful behavior of other children. He would frequently ask "Why do kids act like that?" My only answer was "Because no one ever taught them to be better."

[theLuckyDragon]

Well that must make you a good mom, right?

[asandir]

IMO it does, the most important part of that whole post being

and loved (that means mom pays attention to them when they are being good

discipline can be almost anything you want it to be, as long as it's consistent, and as long as you spend time with your children, playing games, reading to them etc, etc .... most of the kids who go a bit stupid at the shops and other peoples homes (at least those who do it a lot, cause kids will be kids - as they should be) are doing it for attention .... they are the ones that tend to not get that attention from their parents

[ScarlettP]

.... most of the kids who go a bit stupid at the shops and other peoples homes (at least those who do it a lot, cause kids will be kids - as they should be) are doing it for attention .... they are the ones that tend to not get that attention from their parents

BINGO! My friend Joe's kids are dreadful. He always says that he beat them, but it didn't help. The problem was that he NEVER paid attention to those kids except to scream at them.

Years ago, we met Joe & his family when we all worked for another haunted house. I always brought my son and Joe would bring his two kids to the 'Build' days. The owner told Joe that he was NOT allowed to bring his kids anymore. He complained "THEY (me & hubby) bring their son! He's the same age as my kids." He was told "THIER son behaves himself!"

The difference? I brought my son his toys, his drawing pad and paper, something to keep him entertained. I set him up a spot in the room where I was working or let him go sit in the 'office' and watch TV until he got lonely and came back. When he got to bored, we left. We always showed him what we were doing and talked to him about it. The other crew memebers would frequently take him to their rooms and show him what they were working on. He never got in trouble and was generally well liked by the crew.

JOE'S kids were monsters! He NEVER - EVER brought them any toys. They frequently complained that they were hungry. They ran through the building like wild Indians. They constantly handled the props and ran off with things, knocked things over or tripped over them. They often broke things. Joe and his wife CONSTANTLY joked - in front of the kids - "Do you want my kids? You can have them!" or just flat out tell them "Shut UP! Go bother someone else!"

My son is now 16 and has a High B (90-95%) average in school. He's got plenty of friends and all of his teachers rave about what a wonderful student he is.

Joe's son suffers from a slight mental retardation. His daugther sees a shrink at least once a week. She's only 15, smokes, is anarexic and sexually active. She's already had TWO pregnacy scares. Both of his children will probably draw 'government checks' their whole lives.

Yeah. I'm a good parent. "The proof is in the Pudding."

[asandir]

that's where it's at

[Vlad976]

...has a High B (90-95%) average in school.

That's a pretty tough school. All the schools I've been to put a 90-95 as A- to A range.

[theLuckyDragon]

Assigning numbers to people's intelligence isn't really important.

[Mytical]

Yeah, I was always told I had a 205 IQ in school, but I swear sometimes I can be dumber then a rock. Got mostly c's with a few b's and a's. Counciler told them it was because I was bored with the work, me I think I was just too undiciplined in doing homework. Never really been competitiive or driven . Numbers are abstract, so assigning kids numbers can just alienate some more then they already are.

[Elvin]

You are right, dedicated people use more of their ability respectively and can come on top just for that.

[ScarlettP]

In our system, you have to have a 94% average on your grades to get an A. Assigning a number is the fastest way to convey that my child is bright, or at least hard working and cooperative in his classes.

Now - Around the house - can be a totally different thing.

[Kalah]

Yeah, but you Americans are famous for using those multiple choice thingies, right? You should see the requirements for getting an A over here...

[ThunderTitan]

Yeah, I was always told I had a 205 IQ in school,

what are you, a rocket scientist?

Yeah, but you Americans are famous for using those multiple choice thingies, right?

I passed 2 exams (same class) without even learning, i love multiple choice. If only they'd use it more (my gen was the only one that had it for the equivalent of the SAT's... that was fun )

[ScarlettP]

Good old "multiple choice" and True/False questions. You don't have to study, just be good a gambling.... sort of like the way I passed my last driver's exam. Half the written test was comprised of questions like: "What is the penalty for drunk driving?" I just checked the stiffest fine on the list and got it right every time.

[Elvin]

In many you can use your common sense or eliminate a number of unlikely answers. Not that you are guaranteed to do something without studying but you can salvage something whereas in full analysis questions you will get nothing

[ThunderTitan]

The point was that you only need to pay some attention in class.

Over here driver exams require 21/26 right answers, gambling isn't helpful if you know nothing.